Me MyseLf N I

2011-06-30T15:39:00.002+08:00

Well well well... back here again after so long. What with 8 july coming and all, I'm gonna be an official graduate and will be thrown into the adult world, no longer will i be able to say that i'm a student. sounds sad? i guess it does, at least to me. But i know that a book has many chapters, starting from the prelude to the intro to the body and conflicts and then to the resolution and conclusion, and even an epilogue. What's more to say that life itself has so much more chapters, so much more conflicts and ups and downs and transitions. But ultimately, once you get to the conclusion and epilogue, it's the whole story from the start to the end that frames the whole conclusion, it's not just about the happy times but also about how we've overcome the bad, how we've pulled ourselves out of the sadness, how we've grown and mature and finally, when we come to the end, we can look back and say we've led a meaningful and fulfilling life. But i'm jumping the gun, right here right now, it's only the start of better things to come, more challenges to face and overcome, more responsibilities to take on and stretch myself. Despite being afraid and apprehensive and thinking that even before i start, there's so many things and things doesnt seem to want to go the right way, I still look forward, having the hope that things would get better, that i'll be able to overcome. And right now, i'm praying that all will go well. Its not easy, and it will not ever be easy, but what i can do is to trust in God and to always do my best. :)

And moving on from the pensive thoughts, i've just came back from Seoul and it was a trip filled with wind and rain! at least, the last 2 days had some clear skies for us to shop! bought quite a number of things but one thing i regretted not buying is JGS's CD! argh! should have just bought it! lol! but oh wells, overall it was an interesting trip trying homestaying, having lots of fun shopping and all that. :) last trip before my official graduation :)

oh ya, also wanted to pen down some of the thoughts that i'm having... hahah and i think that was the true reason why im posting this post.

frustration. thats something that i hate. frustrated at being helpless, at why things turn out this way, at why i cant turn back time so that now wouldnt be so mafan, at why i accepted it all and now find myself struggling or just fed up with all the things.

remembrance. bringing me back to the reason why i said yes, why i agreed, why i persevere on until now.

finding joy. in the Lord, which keeps me going.

finding comfort and rest. in the Lord, which gives me the strength to carry on.

finding peace. in the Lord, which makes me find my path once again.

finding hope. in the Lord, which allows me to move on from past mistakes.

finding love. in the Lord, which gives me the reason for everything.

.my heart was once trembling and scared, but i look to You, and everything calmed down.

2011-05-03T20:15:00.002+08:00

Oh man,... I'm realizing my chinese is really getting from bad to worse. Been conversing with my fren in chinese via twitter and i realized that i not only have alot of words i do not know how to write, but sometimes i'll even be confused over which word to choose from.. aiyo... this is bad. how can i call myself a chinese like that?! and i think that is largely due to lack of usage ever since i was done with the chinese language in JC. how i wished i have better grasp of the language, especially the vocab and use phrases like idioms. It's really quite a waste how those yan yu and chen yu that i learnt and memorized back in sec schools days have long been forgotten. wished i had a deeper interest in the chinese lang previously and now i regret not cultivating a liking for chinese novels and readings. now all i can say is that i know how to speak the lang, yet there are still lots of vocab and descriptions i do not know. oh well.

What with the finishing of my exams on 30th april, now im a so-called free person! :) for now im happy, but i also have a little of apprehension, not knowing what's next. well, for now, i shall bask in my holiday mood and get ready for my trip to Hong Kong next week! cant believe its next week! seems like there's still alot of things not done nor prepared. well, at least i know that my passport has not expired nor is close to expiring! after the lesson last year, i doubt i'll forget to always check when is the expiry date! glad that i could go overseas with my frens, it's gonna be an awesome experience :)

another thing to be happy for is that my dad is getting an iPad 2 for my family! which also means i get to use it! hahah as long as my bro dun lay hold onto it too soon, nor too persistently, ill be able to use the iPad and bring it along to wherever i go! YaY! surprised that my dad would just randomly say that he was thinking of buying one to put at home for us to use and he really ordered it less than a day! hhaha fast and efficient :D

recently i've also been thinking that sometimes, i can be ungrateful for the things around me or the people around me. sometimes i think i take people and things for granted and i fail to convey my thanks and i really hope in future, i'll be a more thoughtful person and not say things or do things so carelessly. i really need to thank my parents especially for bringing up and taking such good care of me these 21+ years and to meet my every wimp and tolerate my temper and willfulness. They've always thought to do the best for me and help me in ways that they can. i know that sometimes i'll be angry at them or have tantrums just cuz things dun go my way or i hear things which i dun like, but i know that without them, i would not be where i am and i would not have lived as comfortably as i would have. so i thank you mum and dad! i know its kinda hard for me to say face to face but i'll try my best to show through my actions :)

i also wanna thank God especially cuz all these years, ever since when i was younger, God has always been my rock, He has always been my comforter and protector. no matter if i was sad or confused or helpless, i know that i can always turn to Him for help and thus, He has been someone who i can count on when i cant seem to count on anyone else. He is also always there in ways that no one can. i can never thank God enough and i never show enough love for Him but i hope that i'll continuously spread His love and be a good testimony for Him. thank you God, for everything.

-show a little care, give a little thanks and then you'll see, how beautiful it can be-

2011-04-08T11:24:00.002+08:00

A new skin just for the fun of it since the old one's pictures are gone. and a new post just for the sake of it. haha

Here's to the last 2 weeks of school (wait! i'm left with a week only since today is friday!!! my tian!)... with my presentations and assignments all done and over with, what's next is only the exams and graduation. what comes after my 22 years of schooling life is really up to God and really up to me who is still procrastinating... haha...

throughout this week i've been thinking about how much im gonna miss school, the campus life, the friends i make, the lessons i go too, the projects and essays i do, the lecturers i get to learn from and many many more that makes school fun and meaningful. well, out of my 22 years, i guess its only when its about to end then i will say with earnest that i miss school! i especially miss the campus life.being in school has really opened my eyes, taught me many things and bring me to different stages of my life. and here as i end the schooling chapter, im gonna begin a whole new chapter which is now kinda daunting and im kinda apprehensive. it's just weird how im not gonna be called a student anymore, a little sad at how i wun be sheltered anymore, a little nostalgic at how i can have fun and play at the same time as im studying. and all those memories i've made in school... there's too many for me to list. all the lessons, recess, CCA, camps, meetings, gatherings... suddenly images from secondary sch till now is flashing in my head... ahha... and of course, i wanna thank all those who made my school life so interesting - my friends and lecturers and tutors and project group mates... :) and now as i look at all the books and notes that are on my table, i realize i'll miss studying. miss going to the library, be it in school or the public library, to study. i'll miss typing and researching for projects and essays. i'll miss trying to figure out how to solve all the math problems. I'll miss reading and highlighting and putting little notes in my textbook and readings. all that and more... 1/3rd or 1/4th of my life is spend in school and this is the time im the most active in various things, in dance, in musicals, in mentoring, in CCAs, in projects etc. the time when i have the most energy and time to do various stuff. :D i can only say, im grateful and thankful for all those wonderful memories! :D

and next up, excited for my korea trip! gonna be fun and awesome! :) can't wait!

- Take a little time to be thankful for all the little things -

2010-10-29T16:36:00.002+08:00

Woots! Just a short post before i REALLY start doing my work! haha

Recently, been watching WGM, for Khuntoria and Adam couples. And i found a gem of a band! haha 2AM! :) and i realize once again how much i love ballads! :P and kkapkwon! haha really funny and amazing vocals!

Anyway, its weird how when you have nothing to do, nobody will ask you to do anything. But when your week has been full of stuff, people will start asking you to do stuff! haha well, im not complaining, just commenting on how timely God's timing is. Really, a crisis is not a crisis if there is only one measly problem you think you can't handle. That is just A problem. But a crisis is when u already have more than one problem and even more start coming you way (dictionary.com: a time of intense difficulty) that you feel loss and do not know where to start to tackle the problem. It's also a time where difficult/important decisions are to be made (again from dictionary.com), so if you only have a single problem, you don't actually have many decisions to make nor have stuff you gotta sacrifice. Of cuz, i'm not saying that a single probem can't be a big single problem. But i think it makes more of an impact and ask more out of you if you realize that hey, everything doesn't seem to go the way you want it to be. But at that time, when you start to realize you can only lean on God, you're realize that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, a rainbow at the end of the rain, that after the storm, the sun will shine brightly. so i'm saying: Bring it on! I'm not afraid of any problems that come my way, but as long as i know God is on my side, WHO can be against me? :P

.take up the power of Christ in you and charge with Faith.

2010-10-03T17:08:00.004+08:00

October is already ending in a week's time... how fast time flies and 2010 is left with a little more than 2 months! well, 2010 has been exciting, what with passing my driving and all that. but also can't wait for what the rest of 2010 holds for me :D exams for this sem (can't believe this can be a good thing!), christmas and more practicing of my driving :X and so on... as for right now, i'm just in the midst of projects and trying to keep up with my readings... well recently i've been thinking about the fact that i'm gonna graduate next sem, somehow i still can't believe that its gonna be the end of my student life soon.. i really love school/campus life. truth to be told, i'll rather stick to studying than going out to face the workforce. but on the other hand, blind studying and stubbornly force myself to study something that i can't to avoid going to work is also a stupid choice. soooo, i just have to get round to the fact that hey, i'm graduating next sem and to go find a job. but all in all, i'll not forget that God has a plan for me and that although i do not believe its gonna be easy, i'll preserver and press on for i know that it is definitely worth it! so till then, i'll be enjoying my student life and try not to be so guilty about playing in the midst of studying hahaha!

and i've been really thinking about positive thinking. Positive thinking is such a powerful and amazing tool. some may say that we're trying to bluff ourselves or that we want to avoid reality. but i beg to differ, positive thinking is not about avoiding reality, but rather, in the face of reality, we hold on to the hope of better things to come. not just because we have God on our side, but even in the economics sense, when there is a down, there will definitely be an up in the future. that's how yield curves come about, how business cycles are always that, a cycle. but more importantly, it is because that i have a God that is greater than my problems, a God that promises us blessings and His inheritance, a God that is merciful and so loving... it is because of all that, that even more as a christian, we can't lose hope, we can't be bogged down by negative thoughts because God will definitely come true for us. so don't give up hope, don't say we can't do it, don't think that everyone is giving up on you, nor feel that you're alone in this world. cause that is a big mistake. God is by our side, today and forevermore. and also, we should stop being childish and only look at ourselves, only think that everyone is disappointing you. but rather, look at the positive side of people, believe in them and not doubt them. even if they really did something wrong before or disappointed you before, its time to give them another chance, just like how God forgives us again and again. but let's strive not to make the same mistakes. but also, try to put yourself in their shoes, try to think out of the box or not be so narrow-minded, we may think others disappoint us, but maybe we should think again and look at ourselves instead. many a times, we are not out to hurt others or to disappoint others, more often than not, we are trying to portray the best of ourselves. however, we're not super beings nor people who can please every single one out there. don't put yourself down just because you put yourself in the middle of every situation and find that actually, you shouldn't be there. life is better spend thinking of the positive than the negative.

.smile in the rain, and soon enough, the sun will smile back at you.

2010-09-30T12:55:00.001+08:00

Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Marston

2010-09-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

yes + yeah = yesh!

ok i'm being really random! loL!

anyway, 2 of the midterms has passed.. hip hip hooray! and 1 more to go! plus all my projects and assignments! speaking of which, i need to remember to do my reading journal! an interesting midterm i had on mon morning! apparently, my lecturer did not print enough scripts or otherwise, the printer ate up some of the scripts! so had to start the exam 40 mins late to print more copies. the good thing was that it started late since i reached there like 5 mins late! haha 8am in the morning... goodness! another awesome thing is that the lecturer scrapped part 2 of the paper, leaving us with only MCQs to do! hahaha made me a real happy girl on mon! lol! geo midterm on tue was more depressing in a way since i cant remember everything about political ecology, "terra nullius", possibilism and "manifest destiny". hope i write enough though...

studying so diligently the past few days made me proud of myself! BUT i'm currently procrastinating studying for my next paper! lazy me! ha! need to start reading the textbook... but i can say that my mnb lecturer is really nice and friendly and funny and naggy! haha he actually said thank you to me after tut for no rhythm or reason... and if he ends the tut on time, he'll continue to chat with us and not let us go for the next lesson... haha and my geo lecturer actually gave us hari raya gifts! amazing! i think i'm really blessed this sem (except for transport! lol! but i cant possibly have everything! haha) with nice lecturers :D thank you God!

i met this wierd chinese lady earlier today. she was at the voiddeck asking ppl to help her translate something from chinese to eng. me being someone who finds it hard to say no actually went forward to see if i can help... but! i realized what she wanted me to translate was a letter. a breakup letter. and her chinese was chimalogy with all the difficult adjectives about how disappointed and irked she is. in the end, i declined helping her as i doubted my abilities to translate properly not fully understand the chinese she wrote.

but it led me to think about how trustable was she... or was she really in her right mind? it was pretty scary sitting there listening to her narrating her letter with those words that described her feelings... especially when she's a stranger...anyway, weirder things have happened.

sometimes i really don't understand how people think. they can sometimes be so stubborn in their own thoughts and assumptions that it becomes so skewed. yet, they stubbornly refuse to change their mindset nor refuse to see that the problem lies with their own thinking. furthermore, when they start pointing fingers at other people, blatantly shifting the blame to others, unreasonably arguing that we should see it from their own perspective when it is actually not accurate or reliable, it becomes really irritating and ridiculous and it becomes pretty scary when someone gets overly possessive. and in the end, they are the ones who remains miserable, blaming the whole world but themselves, and worse of all, they lose a friend who was with them through rain or shine, a friend who actually sacrificed her time out for the person, a friend who can be trusted, a friend who goes the extra mile, a friend who forgives past mistakes, a friend who really loves them. i'm standing at the sidelines thinking that its really sad to be blinded by you own assumptions and stubborn beliefs that you refuse to think that u may be wrong. its even sadder if you choose to forgo a friend who has been there for others whom u only made acquaintance. oh well.

moving on to happier things.. ^^ dramas. found out mdwav 3 had an extended ending! haha just too bad its short and not all that happy... but still very satisfied and i think its gonna be one of my all time fav show! :D as for playful kiss, its getting better as the episodes go by... hopefully it'll end awesomely! and i'm waiting for my gf is a gumiho to be out! will then psycho my mum to buy. :P

.remind yourself of the precious memories once in a while and know that there is still hope and smiles.

2010-09-27T22:11:00.002+08:00

a little bored, a little sick with studying ... ...

can't wait for next week's e-learning week ... ...

but at least, there are little wonders in life to keep me going, to make me smile

little revelations and small gestures to make a tiring day worthwhile

small achievements and steps towards the destiny to make me want to move forward even more

.cry, not because of sadness, but because you've pulled through and grown even more.

2010-09-23T18:17:00.002+08:00

I'm slowly realizing something... i dun really like to drive after all... :X or maybe when i'm very good at it then i wun think this way but increasingly i think driving can be quite tiring as well. i suppose i rather just take a cab and need not worry about looking at blind spots, traffic lights, pedestrians and even more dreadful, parking. or maybe i'm just being really pessimistic?

yeah anyway, this week has been really unproductive... been slacking instead of studying :( so now im wishing this week can be longer and dun pass by so fast! oh well.... ranting cuz i'm procrastinating...

2010-08-29T20:43:00.002+08:00

Taking a short break from my assignments and writing essays to blog here :)

This weekend was SOT 2010 graduation! Congrats to all graduates and especially lily and karen :)

the whole service was tremendous - testimonies, the 7-min sermon, the videos, the song sang by past and present SOT grads... it all pushed me further to wanting to go SOT 2011!! haha still remember the other time when doc loo loo suddenly popped the question to go SOT very last minutely. I had the reason to say no, it was not the season. But right now, at the brink of graduating from uni, its the best time to go! and i do really really want to go! but sometimes i wonder if i have that courage to take that step of faith? but even as i type that few words of 'doubt', i'm reminded once again of God's goodness and mercy, His blessings and protection over me, He was the reason i persevered till now, that i want to constantly go up to another level. He was the one was helped me overcome many a trials and He was the one who was beside me all along, encouraging me, cheering me on, comforting me. and i believe, as long as i look towards Him and trust in Him, i will not falter in my steps. and even when i can't see God's hands, i'll continue to trust His heart! i'll continue to trust that when God is for me, WHO can be against me? that i can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! :)

yeah! happy happy! hahahahha

oh and i've been watching the classic old drama, my date with a vampire. never thought old shows can keep my interest for so long. seeing those old big handphones being used, explosion and fighting effects that are not quite the visual impact we always get to see today, the green and white snakes that were being shot was made of plastic round materials i could so easily detect. but despite the lack in quality of the effects and realism of the shots, the plotline is stll good! it kept me wanting to watch more and more! haha sometimes, old shows are the best! like full house, my all-time fav korean drama. or nobuta wa produce, a very good jap drama. well, at least, i can afford to fast forward when i watch old shows and luckily i oso have good comprehension skills that i need not hear word for word before i get the storyline. ahhah anyways, its a good show and i cant wait to finish it!

oh, and speak of shows, i'm eagerly waiting for playfull kiss to air! haha new korean drama and i believe it'll be good! :D

ok, all talk about dramas is not good for a student like me who is suppose to finish her essays and assignments and her TON of readings! oh well, life is not just about studying! opps! hahah

In every victory, let it be said of me, my source of strength and hope, is Christ Alone.

2010-08-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

I'm back again for another post! hahaha this weird impulsion to just blog...

this week is a week of prayer meetings and killing of the flesh! it really is awesome and refreshing! despite my love for the pillows, the bed and the comforter, i love MPMs even more! :D its really while praying and spending time in His courts that i get to refresh and recharge myself. and every morning is a start to a new day and with prayer, there's expectancy and energy to motivate me throughout the day!

furthermore, hanged out with doc loo loo today. we just slacked around, went for facial and also manicure tgt! haha finally did something un-cg related after so long! haha but it was a good hanging out session and i must remember to book her for 2011 movies! (*Hint Hint*) hahahha and i love my manicure! hahah not as adventurous as my previous one (which i also grew to love!) but still nice. did express this time and spent $14 bucks! at least i didn't damage it right after i left the shop like how i did the previous time! :P

.a day spent in your courts is better than a thousand spent elsewhere.

2010-08-15T01:55:00.002+08:00

L4D, i never knew i could like the game. but weirdly, i do like it, if i play with my cgm. its really weird shooting zombies can be fun hahahah anyway, after service and dinner, went katong to play lan. second time with the cg and it was super fun! hahaha my cg is getting more happening! lol!

today's cg and service was good too! shared about the book of james. patience and perseverance. attitude when going through trials. the process is important. molding of oneself to be more christ-like through trials. do not show favoritism. be generous. it's all about being a christian and loving God wholeheartedly and loving people fervently. :D

sigh. the first week of school is over and its going into the second week. and its really not long before tutorials are gonna start. i just printed $10 worth of readings to read! goodness! this sem is full of readings! i need to learn to speed read! hiaz! and i really need greater wisdom and understanding from God. really didnt quite catch the readings for soci! haah

and another sigh... sometimes i really think we should think before we speak. we are there to encourage and to build up. not to pull down. but sometimes, we are too rash and too quick to say instead of being slow to speak and to tame the tongue. and really, we should learn to take things in stride. no one's perfect and no one knows another absolutely. only God knows us from the inside out. sometimes i think i myself dun even really know myself.

ok im starting to babble and to talk incoherently cuz im sleepy already... oh well... sighs...

i shouldn't sigh so much! if my mum sees this she's gonna "scold" me saying "you so young you sigh so much for what?!" hahaha

.be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

2010-08-10T23:36:00.003+08:00

my slacking days is officially over... went to school for the first time in 3 months...familiarity...glad that i know there is an as7 to print notes! haha the central library is just filled with ppl waiting to print notes... bleh... and i think i need to get a cashcard soon.. hahha oh and i realize that i lost quite a lot of pens when i serve (cuz i lend my pens to other ppl and it will miraculously disappear! hahha )

the weekend was an awesome experience - flea market! it was our first time participating in it and i think its quite successful! haha earned $602.75 and minus the rental cost $104 = a profit of $498.75!! each of us got $110 :) though its not like we earned alot alot but i think the experience was quite good! despite the aches for standing for long hours, its good to be able to sell my stuff away! the amount of things we had to sell was like a mountain! managed to clear away 3 bags of my stuff. and luckily we had ckl's father to fetch us around! esp the van! otherwise i really wonder how are we gonna transport everything! oh and saw limin there! so coincidental! its been 3 mths since i last saw her! haha and found out she's going canada for SEP! so good! great catching up session with her :) hope to have another flea in dec! haha can sell the rest of my dvds!

and more about the first 2 lectures of the sem! nature and society and transport economics!

nature and soc was quite fun, the lecturer was funny! learnt that he really love the $1 coke sold at school! haha and learning about nature oso let me think more and to appreciate nature. but nature is also not just full of beauty and tress and flowers, but nature also has its ugly side, the hurricanes and earthquakes etc. but its only when you're able to appreciate both sides of nature, you'll learn that life should not be taken for granted, that we learn beauty from the ugly.

as for transport economics, the facts and info he gave was interesting, but it made me think that i gotta revise what i learnt in micro and public finance! haha scary! but transport economics is so geographical - talking abt urbanisation, land use, building of cities etc. quite interesting, but i think its not easy at all... and the prof changed it to closed book!! why oh why does this always happen to me :( haha oh and this phrase that really caught me: "we always value losses more than gains". how true this is. we only learn the value of something and want to cherish it only after we lose it. this is really quite a sad truth.

oh well... hopefully my other 3 mods will be fun and not too difficult! haha i already foresee that i have a ton of readings to do! i'm already behind! D: need to go print all the readings out! but ivle was soooo slow today! stuck in as7 for like 20 mins just to print 3 lecture notes!!! roar!! opportunity cost! hiaz!

.sometimes its better to let go, so you can grasp something even greater.

2010-08-06T13:44:00.001+08:00

These lazy bones dun wanna move to pack my things (plus my mum's and my bro's, which equals to ALOT of stuff!!!) to get ready to head over to ckl's house for a sleepover in preparation for tml's flea market! Just wanna lie on my bed and slack!!! Goodness!! I think I'm even new restless these few days cuz I know sch, and the rest of stuff it includes-sch work, project, travelling, cca, lectures etc, is starting really really soon in another 3 days!!! Albeit the national day holiday on mon ( which also means I get to skip 1 lect!! Haha), the imminence of sch doesn't bode well with me :( but I believe this is largely caused by not being in sch for 3 months. So hopefully, once I get my engine moving, I think I'll get into the programme nicely... Doing the things I need to do, juggling sch, family, cca, cg and ministry :) i believe since God ha given me all these things, He has also given me the abilities and the capabilities to handle them well. I wanna be a good steward for Him!! Yeah! Sch can be exciting too! Haha actually I think the inner me can't wait for sch to start so I can be a productive person once again! Haha but still, need to start to oil my engine and clear out all the old parts and put on a new attitude and new mindset as I start year 3!!! Hahaha がんばて！加油！

2010-08-03T14:31:00.003+08:00

hi hi hi! back again after so long for another post! haha i think my blogging passion is dying after not blogging for quite a number of days! haha but just a quick post to update!

school term has already started this week for the freshmens... as for me, i still have a week of holiday to go... its so weird, this feeling that i'm actually starting sch NEXT week! it feels so unreal... hahhaha hopefully i get an awesome timetable cuz i realize the mods im taking, esp econs, are not easy at all!!! goodness!! Lord, i really need you help to pull me through this sem!

well, apart from school woes, there are happier memories to post about! hahah the weekend that just passed was our church's 21st anniversary! and not forgetting FOP too! :D despite serving for all 3 days and totally being shagged at the end cuz of all the climbing up and down, running about etc., it was an awesome 3 days! esp our church anni! so so so proud of being a chc member! and i've grown so much in these 4 years plus in church. really thank you pastors and leaders for making all these possible! :D

and this sat/sun is our flea market!! hahah excited! but also in a dilemma... hm...

.lean not on your own understanding cuz His ways are greater than yours.

2010-07-28T01:21:00.002+08:00

not asleep yet! haha

round 1A is over and i got my 2 econs mods! at a very high price! hiaz... next sem is gonna suffer! if i dun take honors, i suppose i can just bankrupt my acct next sem! hhaha oh well, 3 mods down, 2 more to go... and not forgetting the balloting of tutorials... if i wanna get a 3-day week, i gotta pray real hard i got those that fall on the 3 days i'm going to sch! hm...let's see how! haha

expectancy. i talked about being expectant and the virtues of things that are unexpected. and while i just daydream (or more specifically, slacking), it came to my mind that being expectant of things to come etc. is all well and good. but to be expectant on how another person should do or behave is still a thin thread to walk on. why? because to have healthy expectations is good. but when you continually expect someone to do things for you or to treat you the same way as before or to even cast your own beliefs and actions on people, and expect them to always do as you say, this is not such a good expectancy after all.

i dunno if im getting through, but what i wanna say is that, expect more from yourself rather than others. do unto others as you want others to do unto you.

ok... been blogging one post too many these few days! haha i'm actually amazed by my ability to blog so much! hahaha it's quite entertaining really. been posting abt faith and stuff and i realized that if i've not pen it down somewhere, i wouldn't have thought so much abt it and i wouldn't have actually tell myself or remind myself that hey, faith in God is really important and character building through trials can be a positive experience. meditation is indeed useful. meditation in the word of God is definitely worthwhile. sometimes, i still need to convince myself of this! haha! but since i have a habit of reading my old posts once in a while to evaluate how life has been and how i've grown and to remind myself of somethings i've realized, its good to have so many encouraging messages and thought-provoking posts to let my future self reflect and think and to be encouraged by them.

why on earth am i saying all these? am i trying to convince myself to post more? lol!

and why on earth am i talking to myself via blogging? haha!

oh, but really for me, blogging is really just for me to pen down some stuff and to waste some time... so yups, i'll see where all these will go... its good to drive my creative juices too! haha and let my slacking brain do some work and thinking! ^^

.be doers of the word and not hearers only.

2010-07-27T19:08:00.002+08:00

what can i say? except that God's love fills all voids and emptiness, His love heals all wounds and hurts. HIs love is so real and His timing so impeccable that its scary at times. Looking back, i'm really blessed to be known as christian all my life. when i was just a child, it was the simple understanding that there is a God who loves me that helped me with my fears, of exams and oral tests. as i grew older to teenagehood, it was the praise and worship that reminds me of God's love and that i'm still very much loved by Him. but it's only through committing myself to church, to a cell group that anchored me in God's love and taught me character building and molding, taught me that the word of God can be so powerful. once again, i realize how awesome His love and mercy is. and once again, i fall back into deeper love with the one who died to save my life, a life that still disappoints, that still angers, but nevertheless, one that He still very much loves. indeed, life is worth the living for because of His generous love! :D

step out of that hurt into God's love. ^^

2010-07-27T13:18:00.001+08:00

an encouraging Psalm for the day :) and its really cute! haha

love never fails. if u let God renew ur heart, u'll find love as precious as gold. ^^

2010-07-26T21:30:00.002+08:00

life surprises me sometimes. you never know what life will bring, never know who will come along, never know when is the next opportunity, never know when it will all tumble down nor when will everything come to place. but also, in life's unexpected moments, you'll find despair and comfort, tears and joy, disappointments and excitment. it is in those unexpected moments you'll realize that u can never take things for granted, nor take the people for granted. through unexpectancy will u have hope for something more, have joy in things to come, have expectancy in what is in store. life is never mundane nor forever at one state. life can go down, yes, down to the deep valleys, but it can, and always will, go up. life can be tiring, yes, so very weary at the routine stuff u gotta do, but it can be so rewarding when u see that smile, satisfying when u accomplish something. life has taught me many things and life is worth the living for because of the people around me and more importantly, the all mighty saviour who gave it all for me.

2010-07-26T11:40:00.002+08:00

For our dearest doc loo loo, i shall post to ease her boredom... ahahha

the time has come again this year... the bidding of modules... roar! despite doing it for the last 2 years, the last 4 semesters, its still such a dread doing it! every single time i do bidding, i'll complain. and after bidding, i'll complain abt balloting! haha its such a vicious cycle. i just pray that i'll get the modules i bid for, so my time table will not screw up. and in the midst of all this, playing baking life take the edge away! haha seeing ppl go in and out and trying to decorate the place. tapping into my creative juices allow my brain to be preoccupied rather than thinking about the stock-mkt-like nature of bidding hahahha

alright, enough about bidding and its annoying-ness! hahah went to huili's 21st bdat at NSRCC. its been so long since i've stepped into NSRCC. still vaguely remember that i always go there to swim, play arcade, bowling, tennis and to even just go there to eat when i was younger... and there was this period of time when my dad took up golf that he brought me n my bro along with him...think my childhood was really quite blessed! hhah but sadly, i dunno how to play tennis now and i cant swim! hahah oh but i digress! huili's party was awesome! the bungalow is really nice and hotel/chalet feel... the decor they did was nice too! and the company we have is always amazing! even the drive there in daphne's car was filled with laughter as we adventured OUT of our supposed-route. haha plus the sub-group board meeting we had tgt with ckl's ymca friends! hahah that was really funny! and meeting wan hua and bao bao again after so long :D oh! and the cake is unforgettable! we always called huli "HL (milk)" and her bday cake was a life-sized HL milk carton!! amazing! but i guess it cost alot! hahah and to think that ckl almost touched it with her hands thinking it was a coin box!!! hahahah hopefully everyone in c10 can meet again together before sch starts!

and i can't believe sch is starting in another 2 weeks time! where on earth did my 3-mth long holiday go to???!!! time really pass soo quickly, within a blink of an eye and months has passed by. there are still things i said i wanted to do and still not done... things like clearing my room (i actually tried! and my sch stuff is cleared...but things still get piled up! my goodness!), go learn some new skill like roller-blading, read more spiritual books etc. etc. procrastination has always been my strong point! ha!

hopefully for the flea market i'll be able to clear some of my stuff in my room away... so that it'll look nice and tidy again! hahha excited for the flea market!! hahah let's hope we can get a nice profit! :P

cheered up by His creation ^^

2010-07-23T13:03:00.003+08:00

time passes real quickly and 4 hrs has passed since i booted up my com this morning...haha

ytd's inception was awesome! the effects, the cast, the storyline, the plot... just complicated and yet, so ever intriguing! made me thought about just taking a "leap of faith"... of cuz, in the movie, its more of a gamble, to go about getting something through not very legal means...

but to bring it into a positive light, sometimes, we really should take a leap of faith. not in man of course, but in God. take that leap to see where God can take you, how far you can grow, how much you can increase in capacity. taking a leap of faith when there is change, when there is a new opportunity, when there is a chance for you to do something more. Responsibility is never easy, and more responsibility can be difficult and make life weary. but when the opportunity arises for you to take up more responsibility, it also means that your character is being acknowledged, that you are given the chance to influence and inspire, given the chance to see your potential grow into something tangible. of course, taking that leap of faith also usually means giving up something, or sacrificing something important. but then, we should remind ourselves that taking a leap of faith in God is always worth it.

and there's the part about a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream... and so on and so forth. and when you are stuck in a dream, or a situation, or a problem for very long, you may mistake the dream (or the problem or situation) for being reality. that the particular dream is so real and so lasting, that you even project people and their thoughts into it and you try to convince others around you not to change it, to stay with your mistaken reality. many a times, when bad times come and you seem stuck in it for so long, you may think that life is miserable, that its too hard to get out of it, that the bad things and troubles are permanent. but more often than not, that is a mistaken reality. bad times do not stay forever, bad times only serve to show us the how good the things are that we usually take for granted, problems are there for us to grow stronger. and i believe we can, and always will, triumph over bad times as God has already won the victory, that we have the promises of blessings from God, that He wants to pour blessings into our lives. IF we choose to let go and let God.

"In all things God works together for good, for those who love Him."

Rom 8: 28

"The eye has not seen,

nor has the ear heard,

nor has the mind conceived,

what God has prepared for those who love Him."

1 Cor 2:9

2010-07-22T15:30:00.004+08:00

really really like this website.. and here's something to share with everyone: the armor of God!

lol and being called a slacker... its not just me! haha

2010-07-22T14:38:00.005+08:00

i'm back here again for another post! hahah and just a side comment, i really really like my new blogskin! hahah full of meaning :D

anyway, i've been crowned the "Queen of slacker" by my friend just now! haha and i suppose i cant deny and what's more, royalty is awesome! hahah but seriously, despite the fact that i did not go out and work this holiday, (cuz working will just make my everyday be soo dreary and routine...plus this is like the last long holiday i would EVER have if i dont pursue my honors! haha) i believe i can still say that this holiday is a really meaningful one...did alot of things, met alot of people, received alot of blessings and i suppose just rest and recharge myself. :P and i've been blogging more often too! my average blog posts per year is about 14... and this half year alone, i've already did like 8 or 9 posts? ahhah

and i really like this revealation my fren had,

heavy rain doesn't cause flooding. It's the failure to contain the waters that cause the flooding. Likewise with everything else in life.

Indeed, flooding is caused by the inability to contain the rain. Likewise, in our life, trials and problems are not the ones that cause the unhappiness, stress and hopelessness. It is our inability to deal with them, to think positively, to trust in God for everything that causes us to lose hope, to be annoyed at what is happening, to be angry at the people around us. Rain is a positive thing, naturally, it brings water to the plants, it provides water for the dams and is a part of a natural process (i'm sorry that my geog is not that good! haha). Also, rain cools the weather, rain brings comfort, rain inspires. Similarly, problems and difficulties teaches us how we can be stronger, show us that we can lean upon God's strength, give us the chance to better ourselves. Rain doesn't cause the flooding, and problems do not cause the unhappiness in our lives. It is when we choose to be closed up, to give up hope, to think that our lives are terrible, that is when we close off the outlet for where the rain can flow, and thus, the rain when it has no where to go, will overwhelm the place and flooding takes place. We can, if we choose to do so, keep that outlet open with positive thinking, with actions, with trusting in God's promises. And then, we will never be overwhelmed by the floods in our lives, as we learn to increase the capacity in us.

2010-07-21T22:45:00.002+08:00

ok. im really bored. since i'm writing my third post of the day AND playing baking life on fb which ckl asked me to try out, i must be really really bored...

it's been ages since i played a fb game, and i'm starting again! lol this is bad! i need to find something more productive tml to do... well, at least i'll be meeting daphne and ckl for movie tml! hahah inception! the high ratings and the casting...

ok... i think i've used up my word quota for today cuz i really have nothing to say le haha

2010-07-21T16:21:00.003+08:00

finally a new skin hahahah just for the fun of it and cuz i have time to slack before getting ready to leave the house...
im right now using the desktop in the study room and i realized i've not used a desktop in like 5 months? hhahaha

a change of view and a change of things do bring out positive effects.. and since the only constant is change, we should really learn how to embrace it. we should learn to take up that challenge and learn to face it head-on. its never easy, its never simple, its never gonna be a smooth sailing ride, BUT, it can change you for the better if u choose it that way, it can bring u to greater heights, can propel u forward instead of running round and round at the same spot where there is movement but no progression. change is never a simple topic. even i don't liek change. im a very 'S' person. but i do know, change is not something to be overly fearful about, its not something that will go away if u just hide yourself or just refuse to acknowledge its presence. to face changes can be scary, it can reveal things u rather keep hidden, it can make u weak and make u realise you're not all that strong after all. but its then, that u learn to pick yourself up, learn to become better, learn that u can actually be stronger than what u are now, that u have true friends by your side who will stand by u, that u have a wonderful God whom u can always lean on, whom u can always cry to, whom u can know is real and so ever loving through experience and through the molding of our relationship with God. so, don't run away from change, don't hide and try to wait it out. but embrace it and acknowledge it, then trust God and lean on God to help u overcome it.

and when change comes, when its rocky and trials seems to keep coming, don't blame it on people, don't blame it on God, don't even blame yourself for feeling hopeless or scared... but learn to change that experience to something positive, use that experience to grow even more. blame is not something that can explain things, its not a useful tool at all for trying to make yourself feel better... but rather, take away the blame, and in it, fill it with love and forgiveness. that is a better solution...

also, don't go round thinking ppl owe you something, because more often then not, you also owe them, and what's more, we owe God for His ever merciful love and patience. do unto others what u want others to do unto you. start to love others and care for them if you want them to do the same to you. when our leaders say something or try to disciple us, its for our own good. when they help us or try to find a solution with us, its cuz they love us. when they pray with us and listen to our problems, its cuz they wanna share the burden with us... all these is out of love, so don't take for granted what you have, don't take the ppl around u for granted... cuz at the end, if you take them and the things they do for granted, and then when you start blaming them or start being angry with them cuz u don't hear what you want to hear from them, or they don't do the things you want them to do, or they don't follow your every wishes, you are the one who will miss out on a good friend, you are the one who will feel all unhappy and irritated at the world for what is happening... and that is really sad. cuz life is worth living for.. this life that God has given us can be full of happiness and joy and blessings if u want it to be. God's promises are very real.

so choose your path today, do u wanna embrace change and love others and be grateful to people for what they are doing and be a happier and stronger person?

2010-07-21T15:20:00.002+08:00

its comforting to see how ppl can pull themselves up, how they realize that God is there for them and know that no matter what, God is their answer and strength. the faith and trust is a testament of how God's presence and HIs promises became real in their lives, that they are living by faith and not by sight, keeping God's promises close to their hearts.

2010-07-14T11:48:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to find a new piece of music to make it into a ringtone for my phone cuz i think its time to change it! hahahha Picked "learned my lesson" but 30 secs is a little short for the part that i want.. so seeing if there's a better choice.. AND i chanced upon "solid rock" in my itunes! hahah that brings back lots and lots of memories!!not just in church but esp in my cg... i still remember the time we were still in s23, still in edwyn's old house at marymount, in their study room and actually DANCING to the song!! hahaha with that famous action for "on Christ the solid rock we will stand!" hahah that time while i was still in jc, while most of us were in sch and sometimes we can be really crazy! and there's a video too! we took it but i have no idea where is it now.. but really, those times were great! sometimes i just wish for more energy and more enthusiasm in the current cg... we're made up of younger ppl! yet the energy level can be like an old person! but wait, dun belittle old ppl! that time i helped out in dialect church and i could see the energy and love for God they have... it really amazes me and makes me think how much do i really love God?

e432! we should be more hyper! more enthusiasm! more expectancy! more movement and crazy tots! it's only when u start thinking of the impossible and the ridiculous will u then do greater things! cuz that's u'll realize its God's moving in you rather than u yourself trying to accomplish something!

and i gotta remind myself this too.

the first love is usually so strong, when we first know God and realize that He is our saviour and when we just get to know Him and the bible, everything seems so new and amazing... but many a times, after a while, we grow up, we have more responsibilities, we heard so many a message, that we lose the first love, that we lose the hunger, lose the expectancy for God to move in our lives, we think we know so much and then, we start to complain about dryness, about how God seems so far, about how we are now so busy to even spare some time for God, about how ministry is tiring or taking too much time, about how we lose the once childlike faith we had...

we may wish to go back to our first love with God, we may be impacted by a message and faith arises in us, we may be touched by a worship song in church, but these usually dun last long.. that transient feeling... but a decision to love God more, to place God first, to sacrifice time for God, to take that step of faith, and with that decision, make a commitment to do it. it takes discipline for that decision to be able to bear fruits! feelings can make us move to make a decision, but a decision doesnt last long if its not coupled with discipline.

and its never too late, nor never too young, nor is it to old, to revive that love with God, to speak to the old bones, to move to do things, to make a decision to commit, to love God wholeheartedly... God is waiting for us to do it...

so, soak up the sun when its shining, let the sun illuminate what we have, feel that rain on your skin if its raining and remember that no matter what, no matter where, no matter the season in ur life, we have a destiny and a promise in Christ. =)

2010-07-12T20:16:00.002+08:00

i really really hate planning my timetable and thinking of what modules to take! sometimes i really wish they just plan it for us and give it to us like sec and jc hahah but i do know the advantages of being able to plan ur own timetable... but still... when u finally planned it and then u dun get the mods u want or the tut slots u want and it totally mess up ur timetable... that really sucks! =( esp when planning ur own timetable has its own limitations like the tut slot timing and the exam date n time... so many considerations to take note off!! goodness! oh but im just complaining hhah i'll rather be able to plan my own timetable rather than have a messed up timetable given by the sch! haha oh well, so gotta count my blessings =)))

ooh and im watching "my super sweet 16" and gonna watch "teen crib"... these kids are soooo lucky! the houses they have and the parties they planned! wow!

2010-07-11T22:00:00.003+08:00

alright... i'm not a blog reader, nor am i an avid blogger... but blogging do help me kill off some boredom and let me vent off some steam or let my creative juices flow... so i suppose i dun say this enough (or maybe at all! haha), blogging can be fun and enriching so maybe, just maybe i should keep up a small habit of blogging.. ahha maybe like a post per month? haha since its the hols, i have more free time and more thinking time and less stressful, assignment-rushing moments, i could afford to spend more time here...but seriously, i think when sch starts, this place i gonna be so dead again hahah... anyway... i wanted to change the skin since im getting tired of this.. BUT i cant find any nice ones... =(((( haha

yups.... cg outing today! hahah from kallang leisure park to the cathy... oh well.. but its really fun nevertheless.. hahah

went universal studios last tue too! uber fun! hahah mummy ride for 6 times! can't wait to go back there when BSG and madagascar is open! hahah

shabu shabu on thur too! nice! =)

time goes by

things start to change

but Your love is never changing

anchoring me to my God-given destiny

Lord, u are amazing and yet, U love such a person like me

one who is selfish, undisciplined, with a bad temperament

so i thank You Lord for Your patience and never-changing compassion

let me not take for granted what You have given me, but let me shine for You

for Your kingdom. Let me build u a great house, let me carry Ur presence every where i go...

2010-07-04T21:45:00.002+08:00

I feel so very blessed! Thank you God for giving me such great parents! Sometimes, as children, we think that parents are like superheros, that they can practically everything and anything. When we grow older, we sometimes think that parents owe us a living since they brought us to earth. But i know that to be here on earth is a blessing, to have my parents with me is an awesome thing, that they do NOT owe us a living, that the things they do for us so selflessly is because they love us, that they are not superheros but mere human beings just trying to do their best for their kids whom they love so much. And recently, i've learnt to really feel grateful to my parents despite their failings and to remember all the things they have done for me out of sacrifice and love! =) i love you lots! mum and dad!

hahah awesomeness! i have my macbook pro! hahahha yeah! and really God has blessed me in other ways as well! thank you God!

and last but not least for this post, i really love this saying:

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

2010-06-28T14:54:00.002+08:00

yeah! hahhaha i really think this particular holiday is very interesting... though i was (and still am) slacking without a job, there was so many new experiences and activities to fill this 3 months long holiday! hahahha

first up was asia conference 2010!!! what can i say? its just awesome beyond words! though i may be always at the background serving, doing logis and may not have been able to sit in the hall to enjoy the services, the whole experience was great! waking up early, cabbing down in the wee hours of the morning, reaching expo before 630...and yet, there are already ppl queueing! hahha then the long day of serving from untill late at night like 12 plus everyday for like 5 days.... in between there were the "no more water!" incidents, the breakfast, lunch and dinner fellowships, getting to serve with pl from jw, laughter and joy, etc.etc. and of cuz even when i was at the outskirts (meaning not in the main hall! hahah) i still could feel the presence of God, the love and the pride in being a CHC member. there were so many good times despite the stress of such a big event... and i really wanna thank God for the opportunities, the chance of being a part of this huge conference. thank God for placing me in CHC! no matter what happens, i'll never regret being in this awesome house of God! God placed me here for a reason, placed the pastors and leaders over me for a reason. and no matter what, i will trust what God is doing. I have faith in our pastors and leaders! and i love pastor kong! he is indeed a great spiritually father! =)

and after AC 2010, was Genting and KL trip with ckl and her family plus "extended relations"! hahah the sub-groups! hahah fun-filled trip with shopping! hahah sadly we didnt have time to play the rides in genting but nvm, we can do it another time! (or like in our local grounds at universal studios! hahah *hint hint ckl - helpers retreat!!* ahhha) YUP, i must confess i'm not much of a shopper cuz i really dun like trying on clothes etc.. but i can buy lots of stuff if my mood is right! hahah anyway, the dynamics of the group made the trip really enjoyable with lots of laughter! the moths incident, having our own "casino" in the hotel room with the silent tai ti killer who keeps saying she dunno how to play but keeps winning the games... hahah the watching of tv inside the hotel room instead of playing hahha the alien who was out to find someone to impregnate hahahha can't wait for another overseas trip with this bunch of awesome ppl! hahah

then, we have the one day JB trip with my sec sch frens! hahaha that was also laughter-filled! though we did miss some of them who couldn't make it! we had the big hoo-haa about the pail-size milk tea, the mango with sago named by us as the yellow urine, the gu tian le yi hao and er hao, knight and day while figuring out what day stands for, the buying of stuff, our awesome stonegrill dinner!,rushing through immigration for the bus and not forgetting, just quarreling with daph all day long hahah throughout this holiday, it was just great fellowship, getting together, and just having fun! =)

and not forgetting the surprise bday party for daphne! hahah

and in between, we had the ups and downs, the stress of being charlie 1 for like 3 months, the usual routine stuff that i'll complain about but still do cuz its important, having fun with cg members like at minds cafe, the supper and just hanging out after duty...

i may not remember ever single detail, may not remember all that happened during this holiday, but i wanna thank God for bringing me and my frens closer this holiday, it has been so much fun ( i know i've been like repeating this word for dunno how many times but i can't find another word to replace it hahah) laughter and joy.

and wanna thank God for just everything. and i'm reminded of His love. esp in service ytd... though i had to wake up early for sun svc when the weather was so nice to sleep in, i just think it's worth it! totally! it feels as if i haven't been in church for so long but it was only for a week and that i missed the sat svc.. but it felt so good to be back in church, to see pst kong, to just worship in His presence, to cry in His great presence. Thank you Lord!

i love this song!

Here is Love poured out so freely
Here is Love that captivated all of me
At Calvary
Here is Love Your arms wide open
Here is Love
Your Mercy draws me closer
To You my Lord

The prince of Peace our ransom paid
A flood of Mercy
This life I live, my offering
Unto the King

The Cross I see
That rugged tree
Tells of Grace and Mercy
Redemption's blood all over me
Living in Your beauty

Indeed Lord, you poured Your love so freely for us all, Your blood is over me, Your grace and mercy i know of that covers me, Your arms always open to receive me, so this life i have i give to you Lord, i love You!

2010-06-17T12:35:00.002+08:00

ooh~ i think i'm sooo free this holiday as i've like written 3 posts hahah

anyway, just got back from genting/KL on tuesday... went there with ckl and family etc... hahah first time i went on a trip that is not just 1 day with my frens... awesomeness! =) had lots of fun and bought some stuff etc... wats missing is just the theme park!! haha didnt had time to play =( but still pretty cool! how i wish i can go overseas again... but i wana go somewhere cold. winter season!! love them! hahah

anyway, i think life is really interesting.. God has place so many ppl in our midst to let us love and learn compassion, give us so many situations to overcome and to grow stronger, show us how much He loves us and will never forsake us. why am i saying this? hm... its just a thought that stuck me and i hope that i can always remember it when the going gets tough, when i feel alone, when it seems like hope is gone. i hope i can always remember His love and patience, His mercy and everlasting compassion.

=) so loved by God =)

2010-06-03T12:00:00.003+08:00

hhahaa i'm back for another post while waiting for time to pass to prepare to meet my fren....

kays... previously i tot i wun learn much but actually i had a real fun time as logistics saying "No! no more water!" hahah ok just kidding, i was quite angry at those who stayed persistent despite us saying that there's no more water hahah but overall, i think the experience was great, and i did learn quite a few stuff.... as long as we work with an open and joyous heart, and no matter how tiring or difficult the job may be, i think we can still enjoy it plus the people around us who make working hard together all that more meaningful and fun =) furthermore, since i was "banished" to hall 10, where most of the ppl are from jw, whom i hardly have a chance to work with them since i dun go back to jw days, but through this ac, it was great fun working with them =) and i made quite a few new frens hahah so all in all, it was a great experience, despite the later part of chair arrangement when we were all so tired and weary hahaha

but after ac, it seems like my busy period is over... so what to do for june and july before sch starts??? haha still debating whether i should go to work...i'm a little lazy, plus i going on a trip next week and to jb on 26... hm... so random lor hahah the few meetings i have with my sec sch ppl plus even planning a jb trip, so out of the blue! but i think it'll be great fun! hahah glad to be able to continue to stay in touch with c10 and argue with daph, being hit by eileen, etcetc. hahaha plus nowadays we got an additional "couple" hahahah which always makes our meetings filled with uncontrollable laughter hahah hopefully, even after this holiday, we'll still manage to stay in touch and hopefully we can bring the rest to christ! =) ever since sec sch days, many of my classmates are turning to christ, which is very heartwarming. indeed, teachers do have an influence and can help to plant a seed! so christian teachers out there, do continue to spread the word of christ to your students! lets all not lose hope! even those whom i never thought would be a christian is one now, so let's continue to let the work of God spread through us! let's be willing vessels for God! =)

God, i wanna thank you

You work in ways i can never know

but if i continue to trust in You

i know i can see your work being done

i know i can see myself grow and be who u want me to be

i know if i lay my life at your feet,

if i surrender my all to You

You will be the one to raise me up

to use what i have, my strength and weakness

to build your kingdom

so Lord, in You i trust

in You i give my life

let Your joy fill me

let Your peace stay with me

let Your wisdom be in me

let Your presence be reflected by me

thank you Lord

2010-05-18T00:27:00.002+08:00

after so long, and feeling as if i have lots of things to say but no where to say it, i decided to write a blog post... haha

this holiday is filled with stuff, like AC, driving etc... but definitely i still have time to slack off!! AHHA which is really important after such a tiring sem and i wanna get back some of the freedom of just lazing around and without worries...

but i realize, you can always laze around, tryin to forget unhappy or worrisome stuff through reading mangas, watching dramas, but worries and troubles will always still be there, together with people who made you upset or are disappointed with...

i thought that this holiday, i was given a chance to learn something new, to grow but then, the reality does not seem so... the path of learning is not as easy as it seems, filled with ups and downs. sometimes i feel like that mountain is too high for me to overcome, the ups seems to tough and the peak of it seems so far away. the downs seem so deep that i feel like i cant get out.

and people. they are unpredictable. sometimes unreliable. despite the things you have asked them not to do, they still go ahead and do it even when they promised not to do it. true, they may be good friends who help you and are angry for you but then, you gotta respect the wishes of the one in the situation too. and i've learnt that i should be wiser in my words. i have a quiet personality and many a times i don't like it. but sometimes when i reflect back, i think its better that i did not say as much.

misunderstandings happen. yes, it takes 2 hands to clap. so yes, i do apologize. but then, is my side heard? or felt? or rather think that i should just step out and breakthrough?

many things are easier said then done. different people have different way of analyzing and valuing a problem or issue. it may be easy for one but difficult for another. different personalities, different talents, different strengths and weakness are the cause. we shouldnt look down on another person just because they have the trouble accomplishing what you have already accomplished.

with all that said and done, i still trust that i am placed here for a reason. i may not like where i am now, i may not like the surrounding circumstance and decisions, but i will try my hardest to put on a half glass full attitude and face the issues squarely.

and true, there are friends and people who disappoint, but i do remember, i may be that person too, who may disappoint or irritate another, so i gotta learn to forgive and forget. friendships are important to me, and yes, i may not say it often, but every single friend i have is precious to me. i wanna thank God that i still carry hope and His joy in me, to breakthrough from whatever bind i am in now.

smiles and laughter works =)

2009-11-27T21:07:00.002+08:00

there are little things to be thankful about in the midst of the busy, competitive, challenging world.... where everything seems so fast paced, every single day seem to pass by in the blink of an eye, every person seems to want something from you or expect something from you, the expectations that ppl put on you... but then, the world will still continue to turn despite your longing to ask it to stop...

but its that little things in life that helps you with moving forward, to embrace hope once more, to be able to stand up to scrutiny and stress, to wanna strive for the better and work a little bit harder....

i just wanna thank God for all the little things He has given me, the people He has placed by my side...

the sacrifice your fren made so that u wun be left alone...

the encouragement your fren made when u feel helpless or when things dun go your way...

the effort to be there to support you when everything seems to go too fast ...

the smile others give you to welcome you...

the sharing of the day's interesting happenings so that it'll put a smile on your face...

the nice weather that makes you think of how peaceful it is...

the chance upon good website or research that helps you mightily...

the yummy food that you can eat for dinner...

all that and more

and mostly, i wanna thank God for being able to find security in Him, despite all that's happening around me...

2009-10-14T11:42:00.004+08:00

oookay.....

in sch right now and procrastinating a little to listen to the online presentation...

had an interesting fins last mon! pcomm meeting was at vivo! bought superdog hotdog and camped at outdoors for the meeting! haha change of venue and scene! then ivane and myself decided to go onboard Doulos, a 90+ yrs old ship that is docked in Singapore right now. It has on board, lots of books on sale! but my unexpected discovery was that they sell lots of christian related books! its really very interesting... i don't mind going there again! haha

My fav no! haha

kays can see that im really bored cuz im putting up pictures when i hardly ever do that hahah

yup and this wk is morning pm again!! awesome!!

2009-09-19T11:07:00.002+08:00

well...out i go for blood donation! my very first time.. kinda scared since i haven't been injected in a long long while.. i cant even remember when was my last injection...goodness! (i think it just means im pretty healthy! ahhahah)

ooh and i haven't shared the news bout my new ipod touch!! haha my father got it for me plus there was free engraving! i was actually very surprised that my father will readily agree to buy it for me!!! hahha and these 2-3 days i've been searching for fun free applications hahah well i do have a few! it's quite great! lol

ok im just wasting time here cuz we're meeting abit later but im already almost done with my preparations... it seems like its gonna rain again... i hear thunder roaring... k sayonara gotta go!

the sun sets

the stars shine

the earth goes round and round

the world goes busier and busier

but i know

Your love stays the same

AlWAYS

2009-09-18T13:33:00.003+08:00

just a random change of blogskin....

just a random thought to do stuff

just a random downloading of applications

to fill the space in my ipod touch

just a random verse that stucks in my head

just a random thought that runs through my mind

just a random ...

but the verse helps me in moving me

to where i should be

a decision is made

a conviction in me

to do Your will

to be a testimony

that glorifies Your name

never will i deny

what You mean to me

never will i falter

my trust in You

cuz You remains faithful

even when i am faithless

2009-08-12T17:11:00.002+08:00

Ah... was just surfing the net randomly and decided to post smt since i have nothin much to do hahah

in school now waiting for 6pm to meet my dg mates =) been a long while since i've seen them le... and i've taken up more responsibilities in crusade...being in pcomm. but i believe in greater things to come and for Him to expnd my capacity =) i really hope i'll be able to juggle everything well though, and have a balance...be it in my studies, in dg, in cg, in usher... let whatever im doing be not to my credit but let His glory shine through =)

well sch has started and this is my second day of lectures...so far so good, nothing shocking...except that i have another sem with all my mods having a mid term..well at least i realized it early and can prepare for it...just that it seems like all my midterms are crowded tgt... hm.... like 2 papers in 1 day and the next day still got another 2 papers...sianed!

veering away from depressing issues since its only 2 days into lectures... coming back to sch can be interesting hahah back to meeting people, buying txbks..., going lectures... hm can't say i missed them, but at least it brings a little more productivity then if i were to just stay at home and watch anime and drama online hahahah

another 50 more mins to go... hiaz...

2009-07-27T15:19:00.000+08:00

I'm very amused by myself with step of deciding to blog a post after such a long hiatus...
But maybe just to rid of some frustrations and some more brain cells amidst all the bidding...
hahaha
this time of the year has come again... sch is starting real soon
bidding round opens...
time to pack my stuff and get ready for a new semester, a new year even.
Time is really hard to grasp hold of,
when i think that i have all the time in the world,
in seems like in the blink of an eye,
im on that fast-track lane again,
going against the wind, or rather just being pushed along...

hahah i realize im in an emo mood?... ahhah neh.. time to keep calm, keep focus
i just have to put in my best and i know God will do the rest =)

I have tried and I have struggled
from my sin to be set free;
Not by trying but through trusting,
Jesus gives the victory.
-Complin-

.think less of the power of things over you and more of the power of Christ in you.

2009-05-30T13:53:00.003+08:00

okay its saturday again!! haha mini Emerge later! YEAH! still remember the last emerge and the vertical marathon that i somehow managed to be psycho-ed into participating and somehow managed to complete it haha cant wait for emerge later =)

plus we're having song of solomon bs which its really good! i'm looking forward to the next 4 lessons! (but not the shifting halls and laying of chairs haha)

anyway, ytd went online at 1 am to check my results cuz totally forgot that it was released ytd morning!!! haha only until i reached expo for duty that it suddenly crossed my mind when someone mentioned coming from school! lol it kind of occupied my mind for a while before i was swept away with the crowd and stuff hahaha so checked my results and i did better than i expected!!! hahaha God is really good! =) despite the fact that during the exam period with a paper on monday, still went to bltc on sunday...and worried that i really didnt study enough..but God rewards those who placed Him first! and indeed, my results was a relief that i woke my mum up to tell her bout it hahaha! also i never regretted going for every lesson of bltc...i really learnt alot and the leaders really imparted alot to us and i was really encouraged!! ...especially the last lesson! i think everyone cried buckets! and with the last lesson, the first batch has graduated from bltc =)

okeedokey! and with my holidays....im still really just slacking at home hahah love it and not hating one second of it! and june is like 2 days away...time really passes by so quickly! oh well... looking forward to what it brings *smiles*

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Matt 6:33-34

2009-05-19T13:05:00.004+08:00

wow its been such a long time since i last blogged haha

holidays now after the trauma of exams... (i could complain alot but i decided that its just plain futile.... )

i realized once again how much i like to be able to just stay home, to read or watch drama without a care for exams or tutorials and just be able to relax my mind and my soul... its so good to be able to just stay home... despite that i think i need to find some stuff to occupy my time otherwise im really gonna rot for 3 months.. haha debating whether to go find a job - preferably one that is flexible and pays well... (if anyone got a good offer can let me know =) )

still have lots to accomplish this holiday such as cleaning up my room... i should really not procrastinate on this particular chore!!

anyway on another note, im really enjoying myself in BLTC..really learned a lot and being ministered to everyweek... especially the recent lesson that passed. i felt that this burden inside of me is being lifted up and know that i can always cry out to God. i cant express how i feel in words, or my relief and joy that i felt. it makes me wanna draw closer to God, to know Him even more. I know that im not doing all these in vain, i know that He sees even if man doesnt. i know that i still wanna serve Him, whereever, whenever i can... not just in my convenience, but especially when its inconvenient. i wanna be a servant who leads and not just a leader who serve. to be God-oriented instead of self-oriented. to be people-oriented instead of task-oriented. in a way, im too far ahead to go back to where i used to be and i never wanna go back to where i was but continue to move forward, despite the unknown, despite the addition responsibilities but i know more importantly is that im running this race towards God, towards where He wants me to be. =)

~freely willing~

(^^)

2009-04-19T23:27:00.003+08:00

Sang this song in BLTC today...

NO HIGHER CALLING

Down at Your feet, oh Lord

Is the most high place

In Your presence Lord, I seek Your face

I seek Your face

There is no higher calling

No greater honor

Than to bow and kneel before Your throne

Im amazed by Your glory

Embraced by Your mercy

O Lord, I live to worship You

well the song speaks for itself...

i remember once again how great our God is

how just serving Him is enough

i wanna have a greater vision

not to be afraid but in the face of fear,

i'll persevere, i'll continue to walk

by faith and not by sight

indeed, when you ask to be able to do more for the kingdom of God

dont be afraid what comes your way

it may be difficult, it may be scary

but know that it is for a purpose

that God is giving you the opportunity to grow and to do more

so step out of your comfort zone

strip away past victories

and allow God to use you

im willing and happy to be able to serve the house of GOd !

Jesus

Others

Youself

~have the joy of the Lord~

2009-04-06T15:32:00.003+08:00

Yea!!! hahah finished what i'm suppose to do!! hahah although i can still continue on with my tutorial..but then let's give myself a break! =)

i think when i'm in school with a laptop, i tend to blog hahaha i suppose its to allow me some reprieve apart from all the work i gotta do =) in actual fact im really sleepy, what with sleeping 5 hours (which actually seems alot..hm...but been waking up at 5 plus the past week...so the tiredness is all accumulated! hhaha) but since i have my latptop, it can actually keep me somewhat awake (luckily i don't just have my notes to study -- i'll definately fall asleep in the library...)

Last week's morning pm was really good... managed to really pray and i think i'm getting use to having morning pm cuz though its a difficult and somewhat torturous decision to wake up, once i wake myself up, i'll feel awake instead of being drowsy. Also, at the pm, i could really focus and pray unlike some other times in past months where i felt like dozing off and it was really a war against the flesh. so wanna really thank God for bringing me thought the past week and to be my source of energy and support! Furthermore, this time round, i felt that the 30-45 mins of personal prayer was actually not enough for me to pray for what i wanted to pray. so it's quite amazing! and prayer really works! there is power in agreement! =)

i still have another 1 hour to go before my next lesson... and i really next week is my last week of sch! meaning that my exam is in 3 weeks!!! oh no!!! ahhahaha

oh just had a random thought...too bad didnt see emme today online! hahaha (emme, if you're reading this you should be honored i thought about you! wahahahah)

~You are my source~

2009-04-06T14:22:00.003+08:00

Read something interesting again hahaha

There are three states of being. Not knowing, action and completion.
Accept that everything is a draft. It helps to get it done.
There is no editing stage.
Pretending you know what you're doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you're doing even if you don't and do it.
Banish procrastination. If you wait more than a week to get an idea done, abandon it.
The point of being done is not to finish but to get other things done.
Once you're done you can throw it away.
Laugh at perfection. It's boring and keeps you from being done.
People without dirty hands are wrong. Doing something makes you right.
Failure counts as done. So do mistakes.
Destruction is a variant of done.
If you have an idea and publish it on the internet, that counts as a ghost of done.
Done is the engine of more.

okay this is from my last sem philo lecturer whose blog i happen to come across this sem again while helping my fren with her assignment.... so was reading my philo blog posts that i've written last sem and realized i'm quite amazed by what i've written hahaha its actually quite interesting and thought-provoking. Of cuz not all the above points are really "right" but its worth thinking about...like 5) Banish Procrastination. oh how i wish i could do that. But then, banishing procrastination should not be accomplished by abandoning the idea after one week of ignoring it...this only results in not accomplishing anything AT ALL.

point 9 is also interesting. remembered a drama i watched (three dads and a mum) where the mum at first found the feet of the "dad" (who is a police) smelly and unhygienic. However, after the mum start to go out to work and earn a living, she realizes that there is value in having smelly and dirty feet, which is hardwork. Running around all day working will result in smelly feet and if you don't have it, means you're just lazing around. so dirty hands and feet is the evidence of being a hardworking person.

yea! I wanna thank God for really giving me the ability to be efficient as i do my assignments... managed to finish my peer review in 2 hours despite the need to read the readings cuz my partner used a very recent lecture topic (thus my readings wasn't done yet hahaha) and i was amazed at the overflowing ideas =) i had more things to talk about but there weren't enough space for the review... He truly is a God of abundance =P

plus because i promptly finished my peer review, i could help my fren with her assignment which i quite enjoy doing hahaha stayed up till bout 3 plus last night (or rather this morning?! haha) to finish one comment... and did another this morning on my way to school on the mrt so was really quite proud of myself! hahaha

think its raining outside..hm...in sch library tapping on the electricity wahahah! but still gotta attend tutorial later...till 6pm today =(

kinda sleepy but then, its ok! hahahaha

yea okay i shall do the assignment before blogging further =)

2009-03-25T11:00:00.002+08:00

something i read:

To comprehend the value of one year, just ask the students who failed their entrance exams

To comprehend the value of one month, just ask the mothers who gave birth to a premature baby

To comprehend the value of one week, just ask the editor of a weekly newspaper

To comprehend the value of one hour, just ask the lovers who are waiting to meet

To comprehend the value of one minute, just ask the people who missed their stop on the train

To comprehend the value of one second, just ask those who managed to miss having an accident just in time

To comprehend the value of one tenth of a second, just ask those who won a silver medal in the Olympics

The hands of the clock will continue ticking, therefore, treasure every moment you have

And treat today as the utmost gift you have.

2009-03-18T15:59:00.004+08:00

Whew! I'm so relieved. My macbook gave me a shock the day before when it suddenly blank out after i put a disc in... well read the troubleshooting stuff ytd morning and did some tries.. and it WORKS!!! ahhaha and my macbook is back to its originally splendor! haha

hm...mixed feelings... but i think sometimes its good to give up a dream you've been holding for so long and embrace a greater dream! one that can make you grow more and achieve even more! =) yea i know He will provide even if the journey seems to be harder or more difficult. i know its time not to just depend on the natural, depend on the people, but to really put my trust in the Lord, that He will guide my and lead me. thank you Lord, for showing me that i will never be alone, cuz you'll be there beside me =)

ooh and we're moving back to hall8!! woohoo! though the process of shifting is somewhat "torturous" (okay lar...its not THAT bad hahahah) it's great that we're going back to hall 8 =P

and tomorrow its friday!! this week passes too quickly already... why do odd weeks pass so quickly?? i dun wan even weeks to come ... hahah cuz it means i got lotsa tutorials to attend.

yea but cg tomorrow will be exciting! praise and worship! yeah!

ok im like randomly going here and there..sorry for not being very organized in my posts but yea i'll just write what comes to mind haha

was reading this book 'Getting in God's face' by Dutch Sheets and makes me reflect about prayers. there are certain sentences that impacted me and make me think and reflect. so just wanna share some of them:

"A representative is one who re-presents the will of another." we are all representatives of God and we ought to re-present the will of God.

"God chose, from the time Creation, to work on the earth through humans, NOT independent of them. He always has and always will, even at the cost of becoming one. Though God is sovereign and all-powerful, Scripture clearly tells us that He limited Himself in order to work through human beings." WOW! God loves us so much and wants this relationship with us so much that He's willing to limit Himself so He can use us. and indeed, prayer is really important because " Even when the Lord Himself initiates something, He still needs us to ask."

And this statement is so true: "When we receive an incredible promise from God, most of us tend to just passively wait for it to come about." we should not stay passive any longer but God is waiting for us to be involved, to ask, to seek. =)

yup before this book, i was reading 'Driven by Eternity' by Pst John Bevere. It's really a great book which challenges certain perceptions and attitudes that we may have in our lives and which may think that its perfectly ok to have them/to think in a certain way. i dun really know how to explain but once you read it, it's mind blowing =D

okay shall end here and carry on studying for my mid term on sat

~Psalm 20~

2009-03-10T21:11:00.002+08:00

yeah!!! finish 4 midterms and 1 more to go!!! hahah and did my sw presentation today!! wahahha but next up would be my south asia response paper and peer review (time to read bout Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka in the news!!! hahahah) Apart from that, there's another sw presentation and gek assignment to do and not forgetting my last mid term next sat hahha

but finally can rest after the long day ytd and the heavy tut are done and over with for this week ahhaha

read Jer 29:11 again today and felt really comforted by God's promise. That He is always here for us and knows what He has for us. His plans are always FOR us, to prosper us, to give us a hope and a future. We may think that sometimes things look hopeless, that things are impossible, problems difficult to solve, difficult to overcome....but i know that if the Lord is for me, no one else can be against me. I know that there is a bigger picture, as long as im willing to look away from my problems, i can see that God is working in my life, using me to fulfil greater things for His kingdom! there are times when i feel that im not up to it, or that i'll fail, but this verse really reminds me that His plans for me is to prosper, to give me hope and a future. so even if i fail now, or i do not perform that well, i know that i have the ability to do well, to improve, to continue to shine for God. We are called TO BE the head and not the tail, above and not be beneath. So, i'll continue this walk with God with confidence and hope in the Lord, continuing to trust in His ways and let Him lead me to where He wants me to be =)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

=) --secured in His arms--

2009-03-09T22:26:00.003+08:00

FAN!

sometimes its really unfair how one accuses another when he/she never finds out the truth behind it. especially when you already accomplish what you have to despite all the late nights and stuff...yet, its because of some person who did not had a clear idea of organization resulted in the misconception that one didn't finish her share of the work...its really irritating when you have project groupmates like that... i'm boiling over soon esp when i should have used the time to study for my mid-term tml instead of doing the project! yucks!

oh well just wanna let go of some steam since i cant seem to concentrate on studying at the moment... had a real long day today from 8 - 6... managed to study for 3 hrs for tml's test with my self-declared break wahhaha! hopefully all goes well tml---for my midterms, south asia presentation (which i need not present since i presented the other day alreadi! woohoo~~~) and my social work presentation...which is still hanging there!!?

i think im getting careless.... not as alert and becoming complacent....this is really bad... i wanna find back the time when i may not know much but eager to learn more....sometimes knowing too much makes you think you know all when actually you don't... stupid careless mistakes that i made...BUT i'm gonna learn from them and not make the same mistakes again! HOpefully! hahah I know i can do it! aja aja fighting! =)

well the sem is coming to end in another 1 month plus! hahah its really fast, how time can just fly past and you miss out on the little things that will make your day...the beautiful clouds, nice, cool weather, the times when you could get a seat in the train/bus when its suppose to be peak hour, little blessings from God that reminds me that He is there for me =)

there are times when i feel insecure

there are times i'm in despair

there are times when i feel like giving up

times when i feel im not up to it

times when i feel im such a failure

times when i feel that everybody and everything is against me

times when i feel that its no use pressing on...

BUT!

i know that You are faithful

even when we may be faithless

i know that You are always there to comfort me

even when im hiding away from You

i know that You are ready to take me back into your arms

even when im running the other direction and sadden You

i know that You see me worthy of Your sacrifice

even when i disappoint You time and again

i know You caledl me to build You a kingdom and gave me the ability to do it

even when i keep failing

You see me through and through

yet You still gave me the most precious gift of all

You still love me as Your child

still take me under Your wings

still shower me with Your love

still protect me and heal me from my hurts

still cheering me on

Lord, you're still the same, yesterday, today, and forevermore

--i'm loved!--

2009-02-20T15:41:00.002+08:00

wow it's been more than a month since i last blogged! hahah

just a random post cuz im still stuck in school waiting for someone to finish her part of the project... cuz i so conveniently said i'll consolidate everything!! arghh!!! wanna study but kinda fan-ing about the project..sian....

and it just occurred to me a few days ago that i have mid-terms for EVERY module that i'm taking this sem!! goodness i think i'm still in a state of shock....my recess week better be productive... i need to be discipline! argh! and im kinda scared out by economics (which by the way is what i THOUGHT i wanna major in) all the differentiation which i so conveniently have forgotten... haha and all the maximization problems n stuff eek! ok ok i must calm down and really go read the txbk and revise my differentiation! i know i can do it! =)

tis week was really hectic...

did project on sun..for my social work... i actually had alot of fun criticizing playgrounds! hahah its a fun module! i think the only one that im enjoying! and the lecturer (who's position in the web was "senior fellow" -- seriously im not kidding! lol) is really very lame hahah but i enjoy his lect though he keep repeating "so on and so forth" like there is still dozens and dozens of examples just being summed up by his "so on and so forth" hahah

finished with my part of project and went visiting my new born cousin Megan!!! hhaha n her older sister Meredith is really smart! she can actually remember which cot her sis is in, which room her mother is in & every which bed!! lol and she's only like 3 or 4 yrs old??? or maybe im just exaggerating haaha went with lily and i think we had an awesome time fellowshipping! =) yea! looking forward to more sharings! and God is always good! He is always there for us! =)

mon - in school by 8 am in the very early morning for dg.... could see the big round red moon from lt15 area... at first i mistook it for the sun and was wondering why on earth is the sun glowing red and not giving forth rays of sunlight! hahaha then i realized my mistake lol... dg was interesting talked bout evangelism =) then had lessons till 6pm.... (mon is my dreaded long day!) went home did my south asia project....

tue sch from 10- 6pm another long day.... had 2 presentation... well went home and i was dead tired

wed...my free day!!! hahaha but spent the time studying for my jap exam on thur.. my jap vocab is seriously very terrible! studied some more on thur...

travelled 2 hours to school for a 1 hour tutorial... then ate dinner with cuiying n xingfang... then went delphi for my jap exam!! hahah the oral was really quite funny ! lol but well i passed that hahha and had my written test... i'll find out how i score soon heex!

thur went home tired again hahah had prayer conference... with karen =)

and now friday...here in sch doing project.. i've like completed my grp mem's work lol... hiaz anyway...

chatting with emme in msn too... and she's also having grp members trouble hahaha birds of the same feather flock tgt! lol

ok...my laptop doesnt have much battery life left so well i'll just end off here =)

Unafraid, what's ahead

You were always there before

My life

Your design

You were always there

just right behind

My life is Your song

2009-01-09T19:33:00.003+08:00

FINALLY!!!

the torture of bidding for my modules is finally over... got the 3 modules that i bid today so need not bid tml... heex and im pretty fortunate to get the 3 modules for only 1 bid point! =)

okay but thats not the end... i still have the balloting of tutorials to go through... oh well at least i can take a breather first ... and i have a 4 day week! ahha better than my 5 day week last sem... esp since im staying further from the school now..

so next week is the first week of school. many others have already started... hopefully i'll get into the rhythm of going to school once again... and that i'll remember my way to the different LTs n tut room ahha plus this time round must venture out to sci fac...i've only pass by there but never really explore inside nor eat the food there... so this sem with my gek, i gotta go into the sci fac...hm...maybe can find xing fang eileen chowyoke to makan hahah

ok ciao may post again when sch starts =) hopefully the lecturers and tutors are good!

Lord thank you

for your peace that surpasses all understanding

for your comfort that soothes me

for your promises that never fail

for your understanding and sacrifices

Lord thank you

for just being here with me

-safe in His arms-

2009-01-09T12:52:00.002+08:00

Badly wanna make it a 3 day week...but i suppose 4 day is good enough too

but thats provided i got the modules AND tutorial slots that i want...hm

ok so hopefully my today my lect timetable will be fixed...please just let me get the modules

being outbid is no fun at all!! aha

had a fun time "controlling" the market for one mod cuz me n my fren were the only two bidders..until someone came along hahaz

ya im just ranting so ciao

2009-01-07T16:47:00.002+08:00

here i am to update the bidding arena hahaz

decided to do away with wireless communications cuz wee shi's advice from reliable source that engin stuff are super difficult...

just recently was outbidded for singapore society cuz i gave myself a break and did not bother checking lol... gotta up the stakes....hmm

and i seriously wonder how ppl can accumulate so much points...

ah well....i can only monitor the bidding for another half an hr before i gotta go off...wonder if its good or bad... =X

2009-01-07T12:57:00.002+08:00

hm... i think im very frustrated thats why posting so many random blogs just to kill the time and to distract myself from refreshing the page time and again haha

hm...i may just take wireless communication - the past, present & future... sounds interesting to me...but theres only 30 places and no one to take with me...oh well...

so now its 1pm...i've got another 4 hrs before i get ready to meet my cg for a farewell fellowship for Gab... that means 4 more hrs of looking at the com and worrying...4 more hrs of looking the numbers going up and up and up and never down... 4 more hrs of just being frustrated and thinking if there is anyway that will make it better... 4 more hrs to not looking at my com but still worrying bout it at the back of my mind...this 4 hrs is not gonna end cuz its gonna carry on till the end of the week when bidding is over...but then, balloting will begin... YUCKS!

okay now for a more upbeat post... dun wanna dwell too much hahaz...hm...but i dun really know what to post so i'll just ramble on and flow with wateva comes to mind...oh haven bought cny clothes....have no idea wat i wanna wear... was thinking od a dress cuz its smt i dun wear often or not at all for the past year...but then its gonna be hard to find something i like in such a short time... ooh and i badly need a bag... the bag that i bought from London is shedding its skin! if i continue to carry it and abuse it with the many things i always carry, its gonna be botak soon... =D

okay i think i'll stop ranting for now...

2009-01-07T12:36:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! yucky high bid points!

2009-01-07T09:32:00.002+08:00

okay im up early today despite sleeping at only 4am yesterday so i can quickly bid for a module that only has 60 vacancies... but when i log in about 9.08am, (only 8 minutes have passed since bidding open) there were already 67 ppl bidding it with bid points of 2770!!! goodness....how am i suppose to fight that when i only have 600++ points which have to spread btw at least 2 modules??? killer man! and the other one im bidding is also in the 2000++...sian.... this really kills my day =(

oh well i'll see how it goes (Lord, help me to make a wise decision.)

hm...lets recap abit what i did for the past few days of january!

1jan (thur)- new year!! hahaz stayed home with my mum...did cards for cg, reading breaking dawn... basically, enjoy the day at home =)

2jan (fri)- oh bidding round 1A started..so i was like looking at stock market! ahhaz and finished breaking dawn (interesting twilight series!)

3jan (sat)- went down to church early to do chairs, ended up helping cheryl with logis (thus no need sweat hahaz!!) then went for lunch at subway with rena & wenting...then went to tampines with rena before joining my cg for fellowship. And i bought 2 tee-shirts!!! happy! and no black n white color de hahaz its pink & green!! *shocking* and finally sat with cg for service..it has been such a long time since i sat with them and went to fellowship with them after svc...ooh and at airport met ivan since he just touchdown hahaz very coincidental!

4jan (sun)- went down all the way to choa chu kang to help SD with his project...basically its to facilitate the children as they play games...wow those were some hyperactive kids with never-ending energy... but some were very nice and sweet=) had quite alot of fun despite being super tired & hungry after the whole thing....and i smelled real bad cuz the multipurpose hall had a kitchen inside...(imagine standing outside a kitchen for 5 hrs ++, how smelly you'll be! lol)

5jan (mon)- sect 5 outing was quite fun...gotta know some of the ushers better. =) went rocher again for supper lol (its gonna be a habit man...) well, looking forward to the next one!

6jan (tue)- ckl, clar & i was at clar hse...supposedly discussing the plans for cg...but ending up playing majong! hahahz but we still come up with a few fun stuff! then met mr, kn, sd, ivan at teo heng...

7jan (wed)- today!!! ahhh im seeing the numbers of the bidders increasing and increasing.... and today is the first day of bidding only...goodness...

ok thats all for now gotta fan about backup plans....

Lord, show me your path

light up my way

i wanna walk with you

for the rest of my days

every decision i make

let it be your will

you are my priority

my first love

you are the same

yesterday, today & forevermore

in you, i find my peace.

2009-01-05T14:30:00.002+08:00

ok picked a new blogskin to rid of the old one...i know this new one is a little common but so be it...i think the words are meaningful -let imaginations take flight- well...even as i enter into 2009, i really wanna fly and not stay in my comfort zone any longer... esp in my spiritual life... renew and refill the fuel tank and take flight once again, this flight with God to the unknown, to places where i can start to spread His agape love, to places where i can shine the glory of God. And for me to do that, i must first rid myself of old hurts, disappointments & old victories... all that i've gained and lost in 2008 will be imprinted in me, as memories, and will help me propel towards a whole new year, new visions and dreams, new breakthroughs...more so than last year... i believe 2009 bears much to see and explore. so right now, im taking off! =P

2008 really has many memories - good, bad, interesting...

1) Working Life...wow worked for 7 & 1/2 months. it was a real eye opener, gotta know lots of people and a great experience all in all!

2) London! WoW! how i wish i can go there again...really love the cold weather, the architectual buildings, the rich heritage and culture...awesome trip and too short a trip! haha gladly go back and explore even more!

3) Water Baptism! yup out of my own decision & blessing from my mum... =) was really glad to be able to go through the glorious decision with the chua sisters! haha and it was indeed a conviction for God.

4) Rising up in usher. well, this has its bitter and sweet. it's really an honor to be able to serve God in His house, yet there are sacrifices to be made, but i have no regrets and i do wanna continue to serve Him in every way that i can!

5) Transfered from sect 1 to sect 5. Well, sad to leave sect 1, but ready to take up new challenges. Hope in 2009 i will really breakthrough!

6) University Life. hm....sem 1 was actually quite fun! hahaz was really glad with the modules ive chosen. met really great ppl! haven explored the whole campus yet... and as sem 2 is starting, more decisions have to be made --> what modules to take? hm...

2008 was all these and more! i couldnt have recounted or remembered everything, could not have written down what little things that have happened that has made an impact on me, couldnt have done justice to 2008 with what i have written.... but even as i embark on my new flight into 2009, the past year will always be a sort of fuel to keep me going... flying higher with my God-given wings! =)

Lets soar ppl!

Lord, im with you on this flight.

2008-12-23T12:13:00.002+08:00

ok i almost forgotten to check my results today lol totally forgotten that 23 dec spells an important day for me...but yup checked and glad that i passed all...an as i have expected my philo was the best and the only A lol...but the rest still quite ok but a little disappointed with my econs though, esp since i intend to major in that subject...now im really having second thoughts but counting on tha fact that econs paper was really quite difficult, im not going to put a damper on my christmas hol mood!! hahaz oh well...i shall strive to do better next sem and the rest of my uni life hahahz!

ok just a quick entry to lower my "adrenaline" while looking at my results =P

and cant wait for our church christmas drama, im sure it'll be great! =)

Lord, i may not have done enough

i may not have stretched myself fully

but im really trying my best

there may be times i feel like giving up

times where i think i cant do it

times where i feel like im losing the way

but i know you're always here

to guide me n lead me

to encourage me when im down

Lord i need you by my side

i know there are many times i disappoint you

many times i dont trust enough

but Lord, mold me

change me to who you want me to be

i know it requires courage

to obey you and to step out of my comfort zone

Lord let me lean on you

for that courage and strength

You are my pillar of support

comforter and friends

always!

2008-12-18T12:55:00.002+08:00

Okay realised i haven blogged in almost a month and ppl are complaining hhaz...that always happens but well blogging is so not my first priority =P i'll rather watch dramas or something haha

anyway just had the sudden urge to blog rite now (or maybe cuz i wanna slack from studying jap... havin my first intermediate class today and i haven revised!!! i kinda threw everything out of the window after the E2 test...lol) im just sitting here in my room surfing the net and updating forecast and thought its time to blog bout something...though i dun really know what i wanna blog about...so lets just flow! hahahz

ooh im so satisfied by our efficiency yesterday...met Sophia and Jon to do the ushers' christmas gifts and we managed to finished all 32 books!! hahaz amazing! fast work too...so didnt have to meet up today again to do hahaz then walked to rocher to eat/drink beancurd... =) and the youtiao was like super oily but awesome nontheless...and then...spend money cabbing home with Sophia again =( super expensive! goodness! cant carry on like this man hahaz

and going back in time somemore....mon's fellowship was great! (or is it ike tuesday morning?? haha) met cg for rehearsal at SMU for our first ever drama production! had lots of fun acting and laughing hahaz! after that left SMU to go find Qiaofen at city hall...then somehow randomly or unrandomly, Qiao ru, Kangning, Clar, Shengda and myself decided to go have a drink ahhaz at Balcony @ Heren....lol thz SD for the treat!! it was great fellowship as we discussed bout ch, our appreciation etc...bringing christ into culture? it was quite amusing to find ourselves discussing bout church while drinking volka and rum lol.... but had some great n interesting ideas...NEW 9 / NUI NAI lol ok those who dun know what im talking bout can consult us lol =) just spend the night and morning at Balcony, at 4am ++ decided to order some food! potato wedges with cheese and fish with potato wedges! NICE NICE!! then at bout 5 plus we decided to walk down to city hall to catch the morning train...as we walked along somerset, douby gaut and city hall we just sang praise & worship songs haaha then went bras pasah mac to have breakfast....but we were like too full so just had milo ... and i was like early morning got ppl there... after that went home and i immediately zonned out ...

met qiaoru, kangning, and clar like 10 - 11 hours later for prayer meeting at jw with pastor... prayer meeting was really good! and 2009, lets focus:

1) building an altar for God (placing God first)

2) building a tent (family)

3) digging wells (ministry)

as the year come to an end... i realize i wanna really renew my walk with God, i dun wanna stay so passive anymore... but really take the initiative and to really seek God, not just in times of need but really every single day, every minute, with every decision, i wanna seek God first. Its really time to put God first...its so easy to push Him behind my everyday schedule-studying, sch, friends... that sometimes i feel like im just me...but thats wrong, i have God with me, as long as im willing to seek Him, i will find Him, as i knock, it will be open, as i ask, it will be given... but first i must take that first step to seek Him...i wanna always grow in my walk with God not baby steps, not grudgingly but walking in faith, walking in the light of God, always shining for Him....

Also, i wanna do more for my family, curb my temper, be more patient and to help out around the house and not just a lazy couch potato... i wanna share my mother's burden and not add to it...

As for ministry, i really wanna be able to impact lives and really be an inspiration to others. and to be a good leader to my team...hm...i should really do more to bond the ppl together. okay gotta think bout it... =)

2009, a new chapter is being open as 2008 closes. its time to rise up and embrace the visions and dreams God has given us. to really do something and not just wait, waiting for something to happen... 2008 has been a year of new breakthroughs and stepping out of my comfort zone, let 2009 be where even greater breakthroughs are seen and where i can conquer the unknown.. like what pst Tan had shared, i may not know the whole picture, i may not know what is gonna happen, but i have the faith and i trust in the Lord. with what i have right now, i will use and glorify God and whatever that i am suppose to do, i will do it with the spirit of excellence!

so right now...with only 2 weeks left of 2008, i wanna make the best out of it..also make the best out of the rest of the holiday that i have hahaz =D and gotta go back to reading my jap otherwise ill be so dead later ... ciao

Lets be the church that is

righteous and holy

faithful and true

a tower of refuge

the Light of the City

strengthens the weak

strong and mighty

-As HE is, so are we-

2008-11-28T17:24:00.004+08:00

Hahaz im back here again...just wanna kill some boredom of reading my japanese studies readings...i still have 2 and a half set more! but thats exclusive of my notes...goodness!

yup anyway...was just reading some of my previous posts...and i was encouraged by what i wrote hahaz...sometimes random thoughts are really very reflective and can really be a source of strength...for me at least... its really quite interesting to see what ive written and commented and "screamed" at hahaz ooh and i think i forgot to mention, i have a new phone! W595, sony ericsson...im having lots of fun with the games in my new phone hahaz...and ckl will know i love playing with interesting games in ppl's phone when im bored hahaz....played the whole journey home on wed...but the interest will die down sooner or later... hahaz

and i realized someting....i always say i dun really use the computer..basically cuz my bro always uses it and the laptop at home is pretty slow...but then, ever since i have my own macbook, ive been using it, when im bored, when im just plain lazy to study...this is really bad...television is already one big tempting commodity and now my laptop too!! hahaz

BUT even if im complaining i think im really blessed with having a laptop of my own, and its one i love too! hahahz but its getting dirty...hm...after exams im gonna like clean it or something....oog i seem to have alot of things to do after exams hahahz.... and i think i must regain my social life...it has been ages since i last bought new clothes and shoes...(except from the time when i went to buy my new phone bought a new jacket...=) really cant wait for mon to come and go!

im thinking of my 1 month holiday and i think its a little too short hahaz...before the mad rush of bidding modules and balloting tutorials start again =( and i still dun really know which modules i should take...not just that, but gotta plan my timetable carefully so it can just fit nicely into 3 days (hopefully! if not 4 days)...im SO not be going to sch for 5 days from tampines....its just a killer!!

ok im just rambling on and on so...so that its time for me to get ready for cg later on..hahaz combined today at riverwalk...i believe it'll be quite exciting =)

ooh oso wanna thank those who pei-ed me when i felt like vomiting (yet again) last sat...haha and the milo too =)

ok ok gtg

Lord, i remember the comfort

i remember the peace

the love you always give me

i know ive dissapointed

ive run away before

but Lord, i always want to come back

come back to You

because i know, without you

im nothing

i can go nowhere

cuz i'll be so lost

so Lord today and everyday forevermore

lead me in your ways

teach me how to pray

show me how i can do even more for You

---He remembers---

2008-11-26T18:45:00.003+08:00

Just finish with econs paper in the afternoon...goodness! hahaz plus ytd the geo double trauma! i can complain and complain bout the paper and the time constraint and whatever else but i think ill just forget about it..dun wanna think and make myself miserable....look on the bright side of life! hahaz now i think my philo will end up be my best subject hahaz surprisingly lol...left my social work and jap studies on mon... 2 papers on 1 day hopefully will be ok!

busy busy weekend with Asia Conference!! hahaz was really fun and great! but i think i miss out too much cuz of exams so feel like i missed out alot alot and the experience was not complete... and i miss out on Dr A.R. Bernard's sermons!! heard that it was mind-blowing! sad =( how i wish my exams didnt clash with asia conference! oh well its over and done with.. i'll be awaiting for Asia Conference 2010!!! hahz i believe we will go from glory to glory! it'll be even better! =)

im half settled in my new home...half settled cuz i dun have a study table yet!! so alot of my stuff thats suppose to be for my table is still in boxes....after my last paper im so gonna go look for an awesome study table! and to unpack the rest of the stuff...love my new room hahaz though its not very big but at least its of my own! hahaz and though my old house has lots of memories..i think my new house is awesome! hahaz my old house has never been renovated so its kinda old and its just white walls, white/peachy tiles...kinda boring...but here there's nice walls, my room's blue walls...and big tv screen! hahaz awesome for me! and i love it that the lights dun attract insects hahaz in my old house the lights always attract a kind of insect and makes it really irritating when im studying...ooh and wehave a microwave! hahaz that can be used t make cakes...i think...maybe ill explore sometime after my exams hahahz ok...maybe im exxagerating and im sure there are better houses out there...but who cares? as long as i love my own house! and using Shamai's sense of place scale, my new house is currently on active commitment and involevment! hahaz high up on the scale lol (putting what ive learn for geo to good use hahah)

ok im giving myself a break and just watch tv for the rest of tonight! hahahaz and not gonna care bout it!

oh ya happy with my Light of The City CD and chocolates! hahaz

Lord i know you see

see my heart, see my thoughts

see what ive been doing

sometimes i find myself lost

lost in all that i need to do

lost with all the expectations

from myself, from others

but i know You will lead the way

back to where You are...

to your purpose

Lord i find joy in you

a refreshing in you

so Lord i thank you

for being the same

yesterday, today n forevermore!!

(^^)

-safe in His arms-

2008-11-12T11:27:00.003+08:00

HEY HEY hahaz since ppl has beeen saying my blog is in ruins and not updated here goes...lol

well well in case some still dun noe I've officially shifted house! hahaz to the very eastern tampines =) well got good and bad larz the obvious bad is that i ssooooo far from my school but the very good is that its near church ahhaz so at least on sat i can TRY to reach home before 12 lol... anyway i still have lots of stuff packed in boxes and not arranged yet...goodness but im feeling tired already hahaz...

well shifted house on last sun...woke up like at 7 plus...or rather i've been waking up before 8 for the past 2 weeks...heex..so got up moved some stuff over to the new house with parents in a rental car (thats the best! my father rented a car hahaz so been fetched around...except coming home from sch lol -- but now dun have le...father has gone to jakarta =( ) we went to and fro for some trips till bout 12 plus when the movers arrived...started to move all our stuff and i realized that im gonna miss my old house...the windyness and the place where ive lived my whole life... yup so off we go to tampines....

unpacked stuff for the whole day....and ive searched for my charger the whole day but i couldnt find it...so my phone died on me by night...and what is even worse was that i got to contact my team members...sian...dun have their hp numbers cuz its stored in the phone instead of the sim card...so anyway kept finding my charger till i gave up and slept....

and come monday...still NO charger...borrowed my bro's phone and insert my sim card...so those whom i replied quite late im sorry, now you know why...heez...kept thinking i start my lessons at 1pm... so left house bout 1045...and then !! when i was at clementi at 1206, my tut mate smsed me and said i was late!!! then it suddenly dawned on me that i start at 12 and end at 1pm goodesss, by the time i reached the school it was like 1236...so decided to miss the class since its ending in like 10 mins...that was my first time "ponning" lessons albeit unintentionally... and waited for my fren outside, heard my name being called while the tutor took attendance for latecomers..felt kinda wierd hearing my name called from outside lol...then we can consult the tutor about our project...heex and i think she didnt realized i just step into the class hahaz...oh well...and went to national library to do project... and had to collect forecast for support...but i didnt have my phone nor phone numbers to call...sian...i remembered bout the email contact list and started to sms them...luckily was smart enough to note down some impt numbers before my phone went deadly flat... but the worse thing was not a single one replied me!! out of 8 ppl! goodness...went i finished my project started to call each one and only 2 answered.. so oh well ... that was my eventful monday...oh forgot a little bit...i vomited AGAIN! at the mrt station hahaz...i think my stomach has something wrong...will vomit for no rhyme or reason de...

oh and my father found the charger at my OLD house in a box we forgot to bring over...sian hahaz but at least i found it ....but hopefully i'll get a new phone soon cuz the phone i have right now will die out after 2 phone calls...so its pretty much unusable for calls

ok gotta do my js project le so thats all for now =)

Lord teach me your ways

lead me to the place you want me to be

my destiny you have in your hands

i know i can lean on you

i know i can trust you

Lord i just ask of myself to be more courageous

embracing what you have for me

to be more obedient for you

thank you Father

for always listening to me

even when i dont

thank you, 2 words that i can never say enough

2008-10-22T21:14:00.003+08:00

im just bored ahahz waiting at riverwalk for QF so juz post something for fun hahaz

did my eng powerpoint slides today with my grp member... we devised a game called MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB! hahaz i think will be super duper funny lol even as we were discussing i was already laughing away hahahz

okay ciao

2008-10-22T16:19:00.002+08:00

OOh its wednesday again and half of the week is gone... to oblivion

and i couldnt get my potato salad again today =(

[wee shi, you shouldnt have put that thought of it in my head days ago lol]

anyway i cant wait for fri to come ahahz and i'll be rid of 2 projects and 1 essay lol... bu that does not spell the end of projects and essays... =( but then on the brighter side of life..its good to be rid of at least some... hahaz

2 days ago, during my ride to bedok library something interesting happened...was using my laptop to do my eng essay...and i had this error: .... scrutinization ...

there was a red line below the word to indicate an error... and i've been thinking bout it and always thought that it was correct...but then someone beside me, who was not very young (if you get my drift) was saying, its not scrutinization, its scutiny...at first i just looked at him blankly, wondering why he was talking bout my sch work....then i just smiled and carried on with vetting my essay... then i realize OOOHHH the correct word is scrutiny! hahaz then i changed the word and Viola! no red line hahahaz ... i was still in a state of shock that i didnt say thank you lol... but anyway cant judge a book by its cover...cuz the guy looked very chi speaking and not exactly someone i will call "learned" or rather, proficient in english... (hopefully dun sound to offensive heex... cuz i dun mean to seem bias or sterotyping...)

anyway yup that was my interesting story ahhaz to me at least =)

say it out, speak it out

to someone, to God

you'll feel so much better

cry it out, find comfort in His arms

you'll no longer feel the hurt

lean on Him, seek Him

you'll not have that pain in the heart

in everything, know you'll one who is loved, will always be loved,

by God, our Lord & beloved Father

(^^)

2008-10-17T16:23:00.002+08:00

I couldnt get my potato salad =(

hahaz at my school's upper deck with my LAO GONG!!! hahahz yup she's just a fren..and to those who still dun get it, just remember this, im not a lesbian lol

anyway...decided to go for the philo lect and be a good student hahaz but i benefitted from it...was a guest lecture today and he talked bout the various kinds of ethics and actually shed some like to why we think how we think...not exactly saying why..but gave some scenarios that helped in understanding the issue bout ethics.. BUT ethics is still a big mess to me hahahz

yup... gotta go in another 1 hour and my essay is still not done...goodness...another essay hahaz topic is "Internet users have gone too far in exercising their freedom of speech" DO you agree??? hm...if you think NO!!! i object!! Please tell me your points!! hahaz anyway, my outline and intro is done...so just gotta piece everything together and i'll be ready to hand it up on monday =) oh and also my social work term paper....arghhhh my draft not done yet goodness...oh well and add my geo...im just buried under a pile of stuff ahahahz

ok ok stop complaining and stop procrastinating but JIA YOU!!!!

hahaz

oh mental note: S.T.O.P W.A.L.L.O.W.I.N.G it doesnt help!

random thoughts flying through my head...

there are times when i cry out

there are times when i feel im so alone...

fighting it alone

doing it alone

being left alone out there

like nobody understands

nobody notice me

or even remember

but i noe that God sees

He is here with me

i may be alone

1 person

but im never lonely

cuz i can lean on His strength

and when i'm afriad, i can hide under His wings

Comfort, He will give me

Joy, He gives me

to walk the rest of my days

to continue to build His kingdom

everyone may forget

but i noe He remembers

=) touched by His love

2008-10-13T22:13:00.001+08:00

Im gonna scream my head off soon!!! ahhhh!! hahaz

nope, im not going crazy, just frustrated over my geo and social work hahaz...hope it goes fine...goodness....

okay calm myself down and continuing fighting on!!!

Gampatei!!!

Lord, i need your patience and love.

2008-10-12T21:38:00.003+08:00

I just realized i only had a total of 72 posts from like the time i set up this blog which would be like ages ago hahaz thats kinda sad... but oh well, im not a fan of putting everything in my life up for everyone to see...so it shall remain that way ba hahaz i dun think i will hit the 100 mark anytime soon....lol....

anyway..still doing my geo project...and im at 1300 words already!!! Hip Hip Horray!!! 200 more words to go and im done!!! hhaaz cant wait to hand it up and get it over and done with lol but next up would be social work...ah that reminds me...gotta do a draft by wed...plus gotta read my geo notes and Republic 1 for philo....ooohh...so many stuff lol

anyway...there was this 8 o clock rule (for me would be 9...hahaz) whereby you dun eat after that..but im not adhering to it anymore!! hahaz i kinda forgot about the not eating after 9 but was reminded after ytd fellowship at Bedok 85 with the ushers after duty ...haha but anyways ytd fellowship was good though im really getting fat eating at 11 plus!! bad habit!

but on the good side yesterday served as stage hahaz was able to serve pastor! hahaz though its a short walk (and my mind was functioning on auto) it was quite fun hahaz....and yesterday's message was good. We can really be creative and breakthrough!

and i wanna say i will really miss G1S1 people, especially those in team D!!! really had lots of fun with you all! and its kinda sad that i gotta leave at the time when i really started building better friendships here but still i know its for a greater purpose! =) Special THanks to Jasmine, Cass, Wenting, Cindy and the rest for teaching me and helping to be where i am today. and always trusting in me!! i hope I'll not let any of you down! heex and thz rena for always leaving late and washing tumblers with me!! hahaz

Yep and Asia Conference is commingg!!! and so is my exams...its really sad i'll miss quite alot of Asia Conference cuz my exams clashes right smack with it... =( but im really looking forward to it!! It'll be so cool!!

ok im just rambling on and on to procrastinate (yet again...) on my geo... but its 200 words more, so here i go!! hahaz

oh another random thought hahaz:

sometimes we keep asking why.

Why me? Why does this happen?

Why is it always me? Why? Why?

but remember the time when you asked Him to use you?

asked Him to give you wisdom and power?

asked Him to anoint you?

asked Him to use you in such a great way?

well, that is His answer.

everything happens for a purpose

and because you asked Him to give you more,

He does.

it may not seem easy, it may not seem smooth-sailing,

it may seem like a ton of responsibilities,

it may seem so daunting,

it may seem so scary and unfair.

But remember, our Lord will not forsake us!

He gives us more because He knows we can bear it

and will emerge victorious.

He does not give us a burden we cannot bear,

so just trust in Him.

And always know, when you have more,

even if its more problems and responsibilities,

its time to step out of your comfort zone,

into the realm of the unknown,

and you'll receive God's anointing working in you

to do greater things for His kingdom.

So, remember this always, God has already won the victory!

Persevere on!

-child of God, fighting on-

2008-10-08T20:40:00.004+08:00

Okay im just so so stuck....why is it that there is no single essay i write that i wun get stuck somewhere? not a single one---thats really sad cuz it just means i spend lots and lots of time just writing one essay...or a report... or a project....siannnnnn

im just hoping i'll be better at expressing myself, my ideas and thoughts...be it in my school assignments or my own life... cuz if ppl miss the gist of what you're trying to say, not only will misunderstandings occur, you'll also not get the full "credit" or understanding...be it personal relationships or your assignments...there are so many times when i feel really frustrated with my assignments cuz i cant put what i think to words...or to beautifully constructed sentences thats worth As...and i realize that in life, its the same...you'll get frustrated when ppl dun get what you're trying to point out to them or what you're saying....sometimes when you try to share something and it just gets lost in the convo....its even more frustrating....oh well im jus rambling on and on cuz im so stuck

hahaahz okay now on a more positive note after complaining hahaz my deadline for geo and sw paper has been extended!! hahaz though for geo its only like 1 day extension, but i still feel a sense of relief...hahaz at least give me more time to reflect and think and research heex....

today ate lerk thai in sch with my sw grp mates hahaz was thinking that the tom yam was not spicy enough...maybe its just me hahaz....and now im quite broke lol....went home with only coins....cant even buy dinner so gotta go home and munch on bread hahaz...bread with salmon---not bad too =) hahaz

a random thought that is not really that random:

the only constant thing is change

if you are not aware that things are changing, you'll be lost in the change

or if you oppose to that change and cling on the past, you'll be swept away by the change

so, the only thing we can do is ride on the wave of change in God's sturdy ship

knowing that God is also a constant

He'll always be there for everyone of us

as long as you know where you are, you're be safe and not worried bout the unpredictable waves

and sometimes waves of change can bring you to shores unknown

so venture out in this journey in God's ship

dun be afraid, dun be sea sick

but persevere on, be courageous and know that in the midst of the storm,

you're still safe in God's ship

im a child of God fulfilling my destiny!!!

safe in His arms -always-

2008-10-02T12:55:00.002+08:00

Guess what im doin now hahaz im at my jap studies lect and im falling asleep!!! goodness....but now is break lar so to perk myself up, i'll be writing a short short post hahaz

well to update on my econs progress ( hahaz veri obssessed with this lol - my first mid term mar =D ) studied finish chapter 4 (FInally!!!) at 1.30 am....hahaz the last half an hour my brain already shut down lorz so it was more of like copy and paste from lect notes to own notes....hahaz but i couldnt take it anymore...been studying 12 hours straight with only an hour break for dinner at 9pm.... more like dinner cum supper hahaz cuz my mother came back late...but had bak ku teh and dark rice!! hahaz lovely bak ku teh =P (whoever out there who wanna treat me to lunch or dinner can treat me to bak ku teh or marchie!!! hahaz i'll be more than happy!! heex)

okay lect is starting so sayonara!!!

Lord, refresh me =)

2008-10-02T00:20:00.001+08:00

ooh and my nose is killing me!!!!

its running fast away....

-another random thought

2008-10-02T00:05:00.003+08:00

Im back again hahaz...wow i think im setting a new record (for myself at least) blogging for like 4 posts in a day...cuz since im not asleep yet, i'll just take 2 oct at 12.05am as 1 oct...well if you get what i mean

ahhhh...im still at chapter 4, after more than 4 hours, i'm still stuck at the 4th chapter hahaz...and its not because i was distracted...but because this chapter is unbelievably long...theres 48 slides...seems to you very short ritez?? thats what i thought at first...but 48 slides cum txbk reading cum actually assimilating what it all means takes more than 4 hours on one chapter...hahaz plus i haven studied this before in a levels so well, gotta give myself some slack =P ahhh im at slide 35 already, so 13 more slides to finishing this chapter

and guess what's even more unbelievable???

i actually enjoy the studying and writing notes hahaz it gives me a great sense of achievement!!! lol i actually cant believe i'll say that but really, i think i've been slacking and working too much during the 6-8 mths hold before uni starts...i actually love this feeling lol --- but thats only after lots of procrastination....its true what they say, its very difficult to start the engine, but after starting, you're roaring to go!!! ahaz and there's also another saying: its easy to start and finish, but its very difficult to sustain through the middle, and i suppose this is where i am right now, cuz im feeling sleepy...and gotta wake up at 545am tomorrow!!! ooohhhhhhaaaahhhhhh

thats 5 hours from now hahaaz

oh welll...better get back to finishing chapter 4, otherwise i wun allow myself to sleep hahhaz

ciao and stay happy =)

Lord, i believe You're here with me

cuz im feeling this sense of joy in me

while im here "mugging"

only YOu can give me this feeling

i love You, Lord

for being with me

for never forsaking me

and at times such as these

You comfort me

and make me feel secure

never lonely, cuz you're here with me!

2008-10-01T19:17:00.001+08:00

oooh i just realized i've been studying for 8 hours straight already ahhaz i think i haven studied for that long since a'levels last year hahaz

just a random thought lol

2008-10-01T19:03:00.002+08:00

It's 7pm le...and i'm only at chapter 4 hahaz still left chapter 5 & 6 and chapt 4 onwards are mostly i haven studied before cuz i took H1, hopefully i can easily understand and apply =) yup so it may be more difficult but i noe i can conquer it de!!...but overall i'm quite satisfied with myself-cuz managed to write notes and read the txbk...hahaz so quite pleased with myself hahaz

ooh...but i think some ppl are just so insensitive....its really noisy right now and it kills my concentration!!! arghhh i should have seen this coming since it always happens...but was hoping for the best! i suppose at 8pm it will stop...

well...left with 5 more hours before this day is gone, before the children's day cum hari raya holiday pass into yesterday...and i gotta go back to school hahaz and gotta reach sch at 8am tml....lol but one good thing, my eng tutorial is cancelled hahaz so got a break btw 10 - 12 otherwise i would have like a super long day from 8 to 6 pm without break at all....thats my thursday on odd weeks...

ah well gotta go back to study hahaz JIA YOU!!! oh to myself and whoever out there studying too =)

I wanna spent more time with You, Lord

i want to be a doer of what i say Lord

so that you can use me and mold me

Lord, i need you because i can never do it by myself

everyday of my life i will give to You

and i still stand amazed at what you are doing in my life

i may be small, may not have much

but YOu can expand my potential, increase my talents

and You use me in ways i do not know

so for all these and even more,

i thank you Lord

2008-10-01T11:17:00.002+08:00

OOOOHHHHH Its Wed! Children's Day!!! hahaz

BUT BOOHOOO gotta study for my econs...which i'm still procrastinating...heex*

i'm still where i left off yesterday... but i'll definitely study hard today !! i must i must !!! cuz this mid-term is important!! hahaz oh besides that still got quite a few things to catch up with: DG, geo project, sw tut...hm geo project is super duper pressing and giving me a headache...*anyone can help me???*

wanna go check out my new house but haven had the time...heex but im really excited bout my room!! its gonna be blue!! hahaz my fav colour...one wall will be dark blue while others will be light blue...and i cant wait to shop for my study desk!!! hahaz cuz thats the most important furniture for a student!!! with a nice big uncluttered desk i'll be able to study better and have more motivation to study! *hopefully!! crossing my fingers!* yup but since i haven been there since they started the reno, i'm not really sure what it looks like now...all i can see is layers of dust and messinest...hahaz

okay back to my econs maybe i'll change my blogskin later when im gettin bored hahaz

Lord, thank you for the spirit of joy

cuz thats what keeps me going at times like this

when i can feel the strain of time and work

but Lord, i know you're my solution

my help in all my needs

thank you!

and indeed, I AM and AlWAys will be

a happy child of God =D

2008-09-30T22:34:00.002+08:00

I just finish my jap homework...oh man its getting harder and harder...last time for elementary 1 i only spent like 15 mins to finish everything..now must spent minimum half an hour...can even stretch up to one hour...lol cuz gotta translate eng sentences to jap...and i've forgotten quite a few words so gotta check up on my previous notes...lol

oh well its over and done with for now hahaz...so going on to my econs....midterm this fri and i'm only on chapter 2!!! arghhhh ahahz recess week more or less spent on philo essay...so tml's holiday gotta jia you for my econs le....

i wanted to like change blog skin over the weekend de...but couldnt find one that i like...but i found a really cute one hahaz maybe i'll try it out sometime... =D

the weather is turning wierd again...and think my body protesting to the abrupt change....lol ytd was super duper cold, had to even take my blanket out with me to the sofa and was like feverish kind of feeling...then i became really hot...lol even the fan oso dun help...and my nose is blocked!!! plus my throat!!! crappy feeling... hope it goes away soon =)

ciao

God. here i am

for your kingdom

(^^)

2008-09-28T17:12:00.002+08:00

Hip hip Horray!!! i'm on page 4 of my essay hahaz...supposedly it should be finishing soon since its on page 4 and i only gotta write min 4 pages and max 5 pages...BUT (a very big and important but...) i have not decided on my last hypothesized example... and that plays a super big role in my essay...

oh well at least the essay is moving...it has been stuck for some time already hahahaz....

i'll blog somemore again...gotta like finish my essay before today becomes yesterday...

Lord, i'm going into the unknown

I'm stepping down from what i have right now

from my accomplishment

to go out there

to make a difference

and i want to step up to where i am suppose to be

where Your anointing can flow through me

i noe You're using me

here and now

and everyday

i'm depending on You

Lord, i may be afraid

i may be stressed

i may not noe what to do

where to go

But the this i noe

YOu will always be with me

and never forsake me

I AM A CHILD of GOD

and NO ONE can take away my identity

the devil's weapon shall not form against me

it will not have a hold on me

Because i have God in my life

i have You, oh Lord

thank you Father

thank you for where you've placed me

thank you for believing in me

thank you for giving me my destiny

thank you for all the visions and dreams

thank you for all the ppl you've placed in my life

and thank you for loving me as i am...

-child of God always-

2008-09-25T22:48:00.003+08:00

Well....its thursday already. time sure flies...in another 3 days and i've gotta go back to school =(

and i there's lots of deadlines to meet. and right now, the most pressing PHILOSOPHY PAPER!!! i'm only at my first case...thinking how to link it to the second case....sometimes i think people think too much ahhaz why make something out of nothin? or rather, why make something simple to something more complicated and make something complicated worse?? of course in it there are lots of values and "gems" to be found, but for now, i'm just stuck....

well...went to bedok library to retrieve my ic..(blur me...) went to galilee and have lunch while reading my philo text...saw a bunch of uni ppl doin their project too..sounds quite interesting, its on french food...cool rite! hahaz so there i was multitasking-reading and eating...and i realize i kinda miss that, the studying at library during my o & a levels, studying at macs... hahaz had a really good time there...and now there are more places for us to study, esp in libraries, though i think they could put more tables and chairs and max the place..heex...ooh but how i wish theres a place that has like a mini cafe that can allow us to buy snacks and stuff or even lunch at great prices...ooh reminiscent therapy - its good for the soul =)

hm... kinda sad had to miss today's zone outing at settlers...cuz my assignments are really pressing me...previously was looking forward to goin with our cg..but then...sad... wonder how was it today...

ok back to doin my essay...its just a very short reprieve...

Lord, i really need to lean on You

Lord, i really need Your comfort and strength

many times i walk alone...

but i know, im never lonely with You by my side

I know you'll carry me through my darkest times,

when i am tired, You'll carry me

when i'm upset, You hold me in Your arms

All i want right now, is to be where You are

where troubles seems so small

because i know You are my solution

Lord, multiply my effectiveness,

let me glorify Your Name

chid of God, save in His arms (^.^)

2008-09-24T17:19:00.002+08:00

Im at riverwalk right now...listening to my philo nuts & bolts lecture...

hard cases and easy cases? principles/rules/philosophy to determine your decisions in situations?? Grid lines vs. circles???

Yep all these are what im suppose to write for my philosophy essay by mon...which i haven started....which i only juz really read the question ytd night... you can say i didnt want to face the essay before ytd but when i read the question, i was like *stressed*!!! hahaz cuz i realize its not as straightforward as i thought it would be...and its not just writing about certain issues but i must create at least 4 hypothetical or real examples to define "grids vs. circles" (if you dun understand what is it, i wouldnt blame you hahaz and if you're interested to know more, pls consult me hahaz then i'll see if i really understand it =P )

yup so im listening to it while writing this blog hahaz oh my lecturer is talking about families - should we ban families (eliminate families) and eliminating nations...why?? so that we'll be impartial, like if your father commited a crime (touch wood!!), will you bring your father to court and ask the police to arrest him? piety fillial vs. justice...difficult choice, so eliminate the family, then, we'll all make decisions based on laws and regulations...but then...when you grow up, you'll know ppl, make friends, get married, then its a cycle again...even if you dont know your children, you have other ppl whom you care about. so by eliminating families and nation is not a solution...

ahhhh. if you dont understand what im writing about, please dun feel stress and think im crazy hahaz juz take it with a pinch of salt and for entertainment sake ya. or if it sets you thinking, thats even better =) and if you have any views bout wat i said pls tag, maybe you'll help me with my essay hahaz

Lord, come and mold me

even as im placed in the unknown

i'll stretch my potential

for Your glory

Lord, use me

whereever i am

I need you to lead me, guide me

Lord, i just want to be where you are

all of my days

Lord, thank you

for loving me for me...

2008-09-22T12:08:00.002+08:00

The start of recess week...but there seems to be a little monday blues as i think about the many things i gotta do-the essays, the projects, the tutorials....etc. etc.

well looking on the brighter side, at least i need not go to school and travel so far hahaz

ok...im gonna set off for my agency visit in like half an hour so trying to kill time hahaz i noe i gotta like check out my piles of work but well i jus submitted an essay, let me give myself a break hahaz...oh man the essay i read and re-read like thousand and one time...hopefullly will do much better than my previous assignment...heex *hoping for the best* =)

okkedokey oh was watching Galileo ytd aftnoon-really interesting...

What if one day you see someone's head suddenly catch fire when there is no fire in the first place? (*touch wood*!)

at first when i saw the commercial i was like must be some chemical reaction in the head or something hahaz but there is actually a reason and a means to kill someone without actually being there - very complicated hahaz

ya im juz crapping here ... ... lol

anyway gtg

God's love is so real

child of God: this is me

i am where i am

lead me Lord, to where you want me to be

let your light shine through me

I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD!

2008-09-21T15:40:00.002+08:00

Hey ahhaz

my dying blog lol

ooh anyway ytd was really one long, fun, tiring day hahahaz

but really happy happy hahaz

my jap elementary 2 officially started ytd, so im like taking 7 modules now hahaz and after ytd lesson with its mini-tests and veri packed lesson, i remembered that its not so easy to learn a new language hahaz but no worriez! i'll continue to jia you and enjoy my time studying jap =) GANPATEI!

also also, e432 juz had their second BREAKING BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP!!! after watching the video on mon that pastor showed us, we're even more on fire and more inspired to do more things, greater things for the glory of God!!! e432, let's chiong ar!!! let's not be afraid, nor tied down by our lives ya, let's go all out, running with pastor's vision. with qiaofen's vision!! let's break out own boundaries, let's soar!!!

it is written in the bible, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteous, and all these things shall be added to you."

why not just trust God and do not be afraid that when you sow time into God, you have lesser time for your tutorials, for your family, for your friends, but indeed, it is when you sow in His kingdom that even more will be given back to you, abundantly above all that you could ever think or ask... =)

ooh... and service was great...sad to say last week's sermon i didnt manage to catch everything cuz gottta serve, but the pastor kong's word about sonship is really good.

Do you consider to be a real son?

1. A spiritual son/daughter carries the GENETIC CODE of the house.

2.A son/daughter SERVES the VISION of the house.

3. A son/daughter SHARES THE PRIDE IN THE HOUSE.

4. A son/daughter ACCEPTS DISCIPLINE in their house.

5. A son/daughter GIVES BIRTH to children.

i admit: there are still many ways where i can be more like God's child, to do what im suppose to do, to fulfil what my identity requires... i realize i should not be complacent, but i should act out what i say, not juz saying the things im gonna do, but JUST DO IT! and we cannot just embrace the culture and just go along with everything, but we should embrace our leader's vision, serve it, to do whatever it can to see it come true. YEA YEA!!! hahaz yts was good =D

oh fellowship ytd was good too hahaz we went to breeks ... wow like our cg is so rich hahaz but it was great food man!! and great service too! and we had MASSIVE ATTACK!! hahaz not some illness or heart attack but a super duper big cup of ice cream, drink and milo powder ahahahz....was supposed to be shared by edwyn and gengting then me, qiaoru and caizi also "attacked" it hahaahz...then when edwyn miraculously couldn't finish despite still left half of it, darren was challenged to finish it!! ahahz and you know what, he juz took the whole cup and drink lol (after some of the rest tried it) and that was not enough, darren poured like the rest of his drink into the big cup, some swirls and downed the whole cup lol....think if he could put his whole head in, he'll juzt lick every single drop ahhahaz

so we went home tired out but satisfied...

2008-09-04T20:39:00.002+08:00

hahaz im trying this out =)

so if it is not complete with all the stuff please bear with me hahaz

2008-09-01T19:22:00.003+08:00

OKeedokey!!

Haha well im in the midst of alot of readings so here to post and de-saturate my mind abit hahaz

but seriously, i've never done so any readings before. But truth to be told, some of them are really interesting--like for my jap studies, though its a little dry with all the dates, periods and names, its still pretty cool to see how modern japan is formed, how influences from korea, china and the west play a part... also for my geo gem, talking bout 'New-Asia Singapore, so easy to enjoy, so difficult to forget' & 'Uniquely Singapore, beyond words'...the slogans for singapore and how we establish identities....pretty cool hahaz also even more interesting is my philosophy--reading Plato's 3 dialogues (Euthyphro, Meno & the Republic 1)... but the exams leave to be desired... hahaz

oh oh and our CG juz had our VERY FIRST BREAKING BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP!!! hahaz was really fun and im so proud of myself for doing 3 cute little rabbits hahaz =) and the food they cook was awesomE!!! 5-star cooking man!!! Also, the singing was great too!! though im not a good judge of music but i was cool wat harmonizing can do to a song hahaz ... and the showcase hahaz im pretty proud of our connect group lol and LA-ME grp was really funny with their:

Enemy: Watashi wa Enemy desu. Onemaewa?

David: David desu.

and the reall cool sword!! lol they really live up to their name hahaz

im looking forward to the next workshop!! hahaz but i really hope that the people will understand that despite the fun and the goal of going to an ophanage at the end of the year, we'll not forget God in the midst of all the fun. E432, lets continue to be vessels for christ ya!!! jia you!!!

oh and our showcase was abt: ARE YOU A STUDENT WHO HAPPENS TO BE A CHRISTIAN, OR ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN WHO HAPPENS TO BE A STUDENT??

i learnt this from crusade and it reallly open my eyes and remind me that my life is no more different in school and in church, that is to live for God, to honor Him and to glorify Him in all that i do. So, hopefully all of you who are students, understand what is the difference between the two ya!

okay so now im rounding up cuz i really need to get back to reading and packing my stuff hahaz i got like a ton of readings and its all over the place...super duper messy!! if anyone of you got great ideas bout how to keep all the readings, tutorials, lecture notes neat and tidy, please impart some of that wisdom to me ya!! ahhaaz

so long till next time =)

God

i wanna be a great testimony for you

use me, even with my fears and insecurities

i'll trust in YOu always

knowing You are here with me

thank you Lord

Even when the mountain tremble

& a thousand fall

i'll stand with you

Jesus take my all

2008-08-13T11:00:00.003+08:00

Ahhh!!! I so hate to print notes lol...my laptop is soooo slow...and gmail too...

oh well complaints aside =) wow morning prayer meetings are awesome!! and what i'm very happy about is that more than half of our members are going!! (of cuz, to be fair,our cg is pretty small...but still...hahaz) I really believe we'll see a greater breakthrough, not only in our numbers and frens, but also in our spiritual level! What's more, i think it really stretches me and refreshes me at the same time, i think i never prayed so much before hahaz (which i'm ashamed of...) every day for 1 hour plus the getting up early to go to Heart of God Church to pray really requires discipline, but i believe i can last through these 2 weeks =)

And last monday was amazing!!! Its a school holiday i believe and everybody (except 1) came for the prayer meeting and then we went for breakfast while those gotta go to work or sch went...then those who has exams were studying in mac while me and qiaoru was slacking and stoning hahaz plus shopping in popular, this fashion and ntuc hahaz....but we did some productive things too k! Then in the evening we gathered together again plus Gabriel joined us then went for dinner =) apart from being my official last day of slacking as i will start lessons, we had a really really fun time slacking hahaz...and see those a'levelers studying brings back lots of memories hahaz

thank you HOG too for all the ppl who gotta set up the hall and usher early in the morning, plus the venue =)

yup yup....hiaz tot i could sleep for like an hour before going to sch but the gmail is not working man....tired...hahaz

my prayers, God always listens

my cries, God always hears

my needs, God always fulfils

my fears, God always take away

my joy, God always shares with me

my tears, God always comforts me

I thank you Lord

for all that you've done

these prayers i lift to you

everyday i give to you

i thank you for wanting to dwell with us

even if its only 2.4 hrs in your eyes

Lord i give all i am to you

*soaring in His arms*

2008-08-05T16:02:00.002+08:00

Okay amazingly i'm writing a second post only after a few hours lol

I realize bidding can be both fun and frustrating...hahaz it looks pretty hopeless to bid against seniors when they can bid over 2000 points for a module...imagine that, i only have like 400 bid points for my general account (those who don't understand, continue to live blissfully in ignorance) oh man....and i think this sem is going to be full of readings, readings and more readings....i really should refresh my memory of studying, especially in econs...

well oh well...time passes really quickly and aug is here...HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!!!

thats not exactly my point...hahaz but to think my roughly 6-7 months of holiday after a'levels is coming to an end...thats pretty sad...cuz i know there would'nt be a time like this anymore, unless i marry some rich billionare...well at least i did not spend the months slacking my life away but was enriched by the job i took on...(thanks clarence for that! and his father =) ) i really had a great time there and made friends and learn more about the corporate world, especially in the hotel industry. Of course, i'm still an amateur in many things but it was enriching all the same...plus i gotta eat lots and lots of good, hotel food lol There were also eye opening experiences as i took part in 2 of their wedding fairs....not to mention the food was good too hahaz.... and i really had the favour of man there and for this i have to thank God for. Because i know that when you're in some place foreign and even more so when you dont have the skills nor knowledge & experience for what you are going to do, you can easily feel left out or feel inadequate...but really I thank God, cuz despite the age differences and the different environment, i felt really at home there and im really blessed by the people there =)

I know that some things im saying on this blog its pretty old news but its a platform for me to remember what i've done with my time, my life, to reflect and to think, and to just acknowledge God in all that im doing. =P

Im kinda disorientated now...hahaz i suppose its the medicine...oh man my throat is soar again =( everytime im sick, 9 out of 10 is bad sore throat...

argh oh well...i just have to pray for a speedy recovery =)

LOVING GOD

INSPIRED BY HIS WORDS

VICTORY IN HIS HANDS

IN ALL I GIVE TO HIM

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT BUT OUR LORD

GLORIFYING HIM IN ALL THAT I DO

RAINING DOWN YOUR PRESENCE

ACHIEVING MY DESTINY WITH YOU

INCAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU

NEVER EVER WANTING TO LEAVE YOU

2008-08-04T21:31:00.004+08:00

HEY ppl hahaz

Its kinda hard to start updating my blog after such a long time of stagnancy lol.... but i'll try my hardest hahaz I do know that my blog is really dusty and old, but my attempt of revival for this blog may just be temporal too =P

YAP anyway, i've gotten my MAC!!!! hahaz happy =) and its really fun to use lol...though its kinda diff from windows, but i like how it has a dock and dashboard especially... hahaz makes organizing my stuff so much simpler... heex =) but of course the usage of microsoft office i still have to explore myself =)

WEll FOP (Festival of Praise) just passed!!! i learnt alot in usher the past 3 days that i've been serving. Though i could'nt join my cg throughout, i treasure the lessons and experience i learnt during the 3 days. Indeed, i see the importance of wise choices, not just by my own flesh but really to be able to discern in the spirit, to lean on God, not just during my problems but really, with every single decisions, every step, every course of my life, i want to be able to tap on God. Like what the HOG people are always saying, the "4th Dimension". I want to renew my walk with God that its not just a mundane "jalan jalan" but its a journey where i can experience so many new things, where i can expand my capabilities and do the even more for the kingdom of God, not out of my own abilities, but by God's strength and power.

well well and i'm in university le kinda hard to imagine lol... ppl still say i look like secondary school kid....cham hahaz

AND TO OUR DEAREST RENA!!!

(If you're reading this, lol cuz i noe my blog died sometime ago lol)

I'll really really miss you! Especially the hugs you give! One of the things i really love about s23 and e432 were the many hugs cuz its so comforting and loving and without you in our cg, i'll miss that alot alot...From s23 till e432, it has been 2-3 years and i really treasure those times when we just have lots of fun and laugh and laugh hahaz not forgetting you're my cabbing buddy!! Not just that , but i really want to thank you for all the times you're willing to stay back to wait for me to have my dinner cuz i always end up in fellowshipping veri late due to serving...not only my stomach thanks you but really i thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! Even as u transfer to n266, we all know that its a good move so as to breakthrough to another level, so JIA YOU!!! my spirit and friendship remains!!! and i believe i'll take up your offer when you say i can get you to eat dinner with my after my sat duty hahaz =) stay happy, stay laughing and stay strong in God!!!

Living Rain, Fall again

Lord, just flow through my life,

your love, mercy and faithfullness

you're all i ever need

Lord, let me just cling to you

Hold on to you for the rest of my days

2008-03-30T22:58:00.004+08:00

Wahahah!!! this is indeed a day to remember =) I'm BAPTIZED!!! hahaz happy happy, indeed the joy of the Lord is in me!!!

well oh well its pretty amazing wat God has for your life...let's see...as i was looking at all the past pictures in christabel's father's car...i was reminded of the times from secondary sch to s23 to e432 n my jc days...its pretty amazing wat i have gone through the past years...

know christabel in pri-->became best friends in sec, together with clique 10 peeps--->join chc in s23 in jan during j1--->how we both grew in christ--->becoming an usher--->multiplying to s23 & e432 in dec '06--->n now baptized together with khar loo, qiao fen & kang ning...the cai sisters hahaz--->now we're called christabel, jazlyn, chervelle and zann...

pretty amazing how we gone through so much, how we have breakthrough and till this very day, we can look forward to greater breakthroughs..juz like wat Hui Jun said...previously we cant breakthrough but now we can see a greater breakthrough...not only for ourselves but truly i believe e432 will run together with Boss & all of us!!! indeed, we wanna be the salt of the earth and light of the world =) to be the apple of God's eyes...and indeed we cant please God if we dont have faith, the faith to do his work, the faith to speak wat God wants us to say, the faith to perservere in times of difficulty, the faith that God can and WiLL pull u through, the faith to stay with God no matter wat happens, the faith to stay trusting in God!!! so even now, i truly truly thank our Father in heaven for giving me this chance to know these bunch of great ppl..those in s23, those in e432...thank God for today, for the 4 of us, for all that You have given....for wat You have placed in our lifes...thank You God for letting me know you and never giving up on me....

life is truly precious, do you want to continue saying "i'll do it soon" ?? to say " i'll do it tomorrow" when that "tomorrow" never seems to come? time is something we cant grasp, something we cannot control, but wat we can do is to grasp hold of doing someting productive, something meaningful in every second of your life....dont live your life thinkin you have lots of time...because that is a very big mistake....take that opportunity now, just do it, dun wait and dun do stupid stuff....dun think you can ignore another thing juz for the pleasures of now...dun throw away friendships juz so you can focus on wat u like, wat u prefer doing....cuz you never noe wat can happen...and dun you see??? see the people beside you?? they are really important, every single one...dun neglect them...always always appreciate them and dun lose the opportunity to thank them... i think it really takes losing someone to be aware of the pain,of the regret, of the helplessness when you cant do something for the person anymore, when you realize its too late...

hahaz..this entry is kinda contradicting hahaz cuz it started off with esctasy (ok...maybe not that exxagerating) then it became super melachonic ahhaz...but truly these 2 feelings was in me ahhaz....but really super duper happy bout today bout my baptism...=D

some more pic hahaz

haahz thats all folks =)

2008-03-13T16:26:00.002+08:00

ok....i'm gettin stress or rather "helpless"...hahaz wat am i suppose to write in my essay??? lol hard to start hard to finish harder to continue...thinkin of wat i muz still accomplish brings me back to reality...back to writing hahaz

You are the Lord of my life

leadme guide me Lord

cuz without u im lost im nothin

God the Lord of my life

my comforter and friend

safe in His arms

2008-03-10T00:03:00.002+08:00

Ok....lol i dun noe how i "psycho" myself into writting another blog entry but oh well...gotta keep those spiderwebs at bay...hahaz

well....to say the obvious stuff first---i've got my a levels results!!! hahaz the excitment of gettin it has already fade away.... but thinkin of that day now... reflecting back on my anxiety and thoughts.......i took leave on that day and went ckl's house to accompany each other and to pray together.....think it was a good time spent together =) plus the conference prayer the night before really gave me a good sleep and peace in me...prayer do indeed work wonders =) its really a source of comfort as you pray together, for the same vision or goal, to be able to understand the each other's emotions and thoughts...Then---it was time to go to school hahaz....really could feel the butterflies in my stomach as we got nearer to school...met wee shi at the mrt and walked to school together. It has been ages since i walked that road and yet, i still remember those times i walked there to go to cg, to go bugis library study...well that walk down that road, i may never be able to walk there again cuz my chapter in that place is closed...come to think of it, i've really graduated from JC and need to move on to another chapter, to UNI....easier said than done cuz i've always feel sheltered in sec sch, in jc even...but in uni, it'll be a time to cast away my childishness and my naivitee...hahaz not to say that i'm veri childish and naive, but really cuz i've got to be truly independent....which is a scary thing to face, HOWEVER, i'll face it with courage from God, from the loved ones He placed by my side =) Indeed, my teenage years will be over as i step into the 20 years of life next year...ahahaz i'm feelin time really passes real quick....yup so i took my results in the hall...as i walked into the school premises, i felt like it was really noisy...i forgot how schools can be filled with all the noises of students talking, teasing, discussing and all the excitment there....so as both of us walked into the hall...i felt really wierd...not to say that i'm not scared, but i think i felt prepared, i felt a sense of calm...and i believe its really God at work =) previously i was like confessing positive things to God and really jux put wahtever thats in my mind to God...so as i took the results and look at it i was calm...and i see others sad or crying, i thought to myself that hey, its ok, whatever my results may be, whereever i may go, its in God's hands....so yup i was fine...but i was super drained hahaz...went to aljunied library to chill cuz cg was there that day...and my mind was jux numb and blank...i suppose its juz the aftermath of taking my results hahaz...so yup =) JC is really over...

and now....

Even as i'm sitting here typing, i can feel the pressure on me...thoough i'm trying to ignore that nagging thought in my head bout choosing a university, its at the back of my mind swirling about...(I'm reminded of harry potter---hahaz---wat professor snape did with the memories..lol) anyway....i'm still deciding...God, help me to be wise in my decisions...

went smu open house today...but me and ckl juz took brochures and went to mac to sit down and juz talk hahaz....fruitful in a way too hahaz...

yup...i'm tired in my mind le hahaz...so think i'm goin to bed soon....cuz it feels as if i'm juz rambling about....without much organisation and thought

God, let me be closer to you

You are my freedom

& You are the reason

Lord i'm kneeling again at your throne

i want to know you deeper

closer to you i wanna be

i wanna stay in your house forevermore

and i dun know truly how much it cost

for all that you've done in me...

thank you Lord

You shall surely guide me

lead me

encourage me

comfort me

teach me

show me

love me

all of my days, i wanna jux be where you are=)

2008-03-02T23:47:00.002+08:00

Ok its been eternity since i last blog....i noe that and i noe lots of you noe that too...hahaz i wanted to update again but my com hanged on me so too bad the chance slipped away and only till today did it come back....hahaz...everybody have been saying the same thing that my blog has lotsa dust and spiderwebs...

so i'm here to blog today lol....

but i've nothing much to say...cuz i'm pretty tired plus i've gotta work....

hahaz so i'm jux reviving it for this short time and hopefully it'll be rescued from the depths of dust =)

sayonara!!!!!!!

He rescued my soul...

captured me in His love...

i wanna be in this place forever...

where God is....

2007-12-03T21:30:00.000+08:00

I'm officially veri tired..................

2007-11-27T11:19:00.000+08:00

You know wat??? You know wat???
hahaz i bet all of you noe le cuz its been sooooooo long...........
but only now then i update so juz wanna proclaim it out:::: MY A'LEVELS ARE OVER!!!
though as i write that not much happiness hahahz...........cuz you noe wat??? i need to get a job......................but then i haven even have a full wk of after a' level holidays and the stress of findin a job is upon me hahaz........plus it doesnt seem easy to just kick back and relax during this hols with more and more responsibilities piling up on my plate.....kinda sad life we have hahaz....when your so lookin forward for one thing to end, u always ignore all the things thats gonna happen after all that....and you wish again how this time it'll end quicker before something else comes again.....ya i noe the way i say it veri messy hahaz u may not understand but i do so i shall continue to stress myself??? hahaz kiddin lar......

anyway juz wanna take this time to thank all the well wishes for my bday...i noe its abit late for this....hahaz but still thank you =)
and esp to e432 & s23 who celebrated them with me!!! and i had so much fun.......plus the scary saboeing from gt zone leaders & helpers....lol
plus i got lots of presents plus homemade cake this year!!! hahaz happie happie =) plus i got alot of ppl to cele with me hahaz thank YOU!!!

yups im goin off le hahaz shall talk more again lol (hopefully)

be a star thrower

be a dream builder

remember those times

smiles on faces

inspiration in the minds

walk upon this road as 1

together with our Lord

2007-09-27T23:17:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i've updated this blog....
well....i've juz finish rewritting my gp essay---can we rely on science and technology to solve our environmental problems?? hahaz n one thing i did not realise during my prelims was that there are 2 important contentions in this qn----can we rely on S&T, and also solving env probs....then as i write this, i realised there may be more then one contention in our lifes, or in that particular situation....there may be other solutions to the problem, other ways/ perspective of looking at the problem, there may be other people wanting to help you to solve the problem, yet you dun see it cuz ur too focused on one area....well like me, i onli focused on the solving the env part n neglected the can we rely part...as a result, i did not do well for my essay...thus this goes to show if you only focus on one part of your essay qn or rather only on one part of your life and neglect the rest of the things and people around you, you'll not live a full, meaningfel life...your life would be like what the teacher wrote in my essay--limited understanding of the question....oh well...

n i realised one other thing, writing a blog has one advantage...hahaz that as i write i'll reflect on things that are happening in my life and how i can learn from all the events and things in my life...i suppose life is too fast paced that i dun really reflect on things...sad to say though...reflection should be a habit... hm...

well...wat should i say>?? im not gonna talk bout my results cuz its disappointing....not gonna moan bout it here...lol hm....ok...gotta say i need discipline...i've been saying that like from dunno when...but well... its really something difficult to cultivate, esp in the areas of studyin...i've been trying to do that ever since secondary sch n it doesnt seem sucessful to me....
so there are a few things i muz do:

1)set up a PRACTICAL study timetable
2)FOLLOW the timetable CLOSELY...ha
3)study study study
4)stop procrastinating
5)face my devils/nemesis---namely math
6)do well ---i'll say very well---for my a levels =)

hahaz well oh well....
i realised something else...haha..told you as i write i'll reflect so this is another one hahaz....Jesus Christ rose Lazarus up from the dead but yet before that, He delayed in going to see him....this was so that others may see the glory and power of God and know that Jesus Christ is the Messiah as lazarus was raised from the dead.....well...it struck me that yes, we do have a purpose in everything, even in waiting. Jesus will come at the right time and not earlier or later, so no matter how much u worry and ask Him to help u, He'll only do so at the right time to fulfil a certain purpose. Thus, we should not overly worry about what comes tomorrow or what has already past, but trust in God, have faith that God will never forsake you though u may not see Him at this instance when u ask for His help. Also, there is a purpose in waiting. If Mary n Martha did not wait for Jesus Christ to come, the jews would not also be there to wait for His miracle. Through waiting, we may be able to see more, know more. Through waiting, it'll also stretch our capacity to trust in God. And even as God ask u to wait, will u juz sit there n mourn and do nothing? Or will u use the waiting time wisely? we may have to wait, but it doesnt mean we cant do any thing else, we can continue to work hard, to evangelise, to serve others...so i realised, even as i wait, i should not be stagnant,but to the the rest of the things to my best ability =)

ah well thats bout it i need do other things..and go sleepppp....the weather so nice to sleep in oh well....

thank you

i love you

more than i can say

though i've let things come my way

i shall always let you stay

in my heart

the things that distract me from u shall surely part

God, u reign in my life =)

2007-08-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

hahaz lol
was tagged by dearest barney jie to do this....so here goes:
6 wierd facts about myself:

1)eh....thinkin that where im wierd juz to write this makes me wierd :S

2)i like to reflect back wat happened in the show after a good movie or drama serial...hahaz

3)i cant help doddling (random drawing) in other ppl's books/notes =D

4)i always hug my pillow veri tightly before i sleep....

5)i hate to bath on normal days...cuz veri mafan BUT i DO bath ok!!

6)okay....i looked thorough others 6 wierd facts for inspiration makes me wierd...cuz i totally dunnoe wat else to say yup

n the wierdest thing----im suppose to quickly bath n sleep...so i can wake up early morning 6 oclock for cip...yet im doin such wierd stuff to prove that i DO have wierd facts bout myself...cham....

Tagged:
i shall spear the ppl the trouble.....lol

aniway since im here might as well say bout today...hahaz i had SO MUCH fun!!! lol...but obviously not in school though....that is a torture,....but wat i did at qiaoru's house was so much fun lol.....we had our usual jc pm today at her house...n then!!! tadadada...ready??? hahaz
we had a "renuion dinner"while watching last epi of shou zhu!!! hahaz but not juz that, we celebrated kangning's bday once again!!! haha...but sad didnt get to sabo... =( hahaz but the funest thing was that after all that n eating whole apples,...we started to break out in praise...lol juz singing one praise song after another in the living room....then decided it was too noisy then proceeded into their room to carry on hahaz we praised, took videos, aspiring to be a choir, then went on to worship....n guess wat??? hahaz we took out the gmps hymn book to sing those songs we sang in pri school such as Father Abraham, Regoice in the Lord always,...hippo hippo...hahaz, He's Able...n stuff like that...then we sang with Christ in the vessel that song n did the actions plus like took out certain words n stuff...(i dun think all of u know wat i mean here....but those who know can join in the fun haha)....we laughed our head off with wierd actions without any sound lol....and then kang ning broke into doreamon that song...n we started to sing cartoon songs plus those commercials hahaz....it was really fun lol...we really had a great time fellowshippin n singing hahaz....wouldnt mind doing all over again at the expanse of my studies lol....

yaya n speak bout that i better go off le...hahaz sayo till next time

with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm

smile at the storm

with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm as we go sailing home

sailing sailing home

with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm as we go sailing home

indeed....we can smile at all problems with Christ in our lives even as we run this race till the end to where God is,...till we return home to heaven above =)

smiled EVERYTIME

2007-08-07T17:44:00.000+08:00

Hey yupz reported sick today hahaz
so here i am blogging...
though i dun have much time left for studyin cuz slept for like most part of the day....lazy me
well this wk its our country's 42 bday!!! HAPPY BDAY SINGAPORE!!! lol

i was juz reading through some of my past entries into to notebk that serves lots of purpose-diary, notetaking, misc....stuff like that n i read bout something that i wrote n i find that its something worth thinkin bout...so juz wanna share it here =)

many times we write 'LOL' in our smses, msn chats n on letters....but LOL really means Laughing Out Loud....yet when we wrote lol in those messages were we really laughin out loud?? were our sides in stitches??? i doubt so...most of the time its juz a figure of speech...though of cuz there are exceptions---esp for the benefit of balanced arguement(is gp gettin to my head?? hahaz)sometimes its juz to create the atmosphere, esp usin LOL, its juz a way we use to express ourself in msges... so when we say LOL, were we lying?? i would think not, but its really more of an erosion of the meaning, its true meaning being wasged away...esp if its used alot of times....juz like soil, when there are no trees protecting the topsoil n when rainstorms come,...the soil will be eroded and washed away...(hopefully my geog is correct...hahaz) so words and actions without the sincerety of love, without true meaning from your heart, is jus like that soil without the trees to root it, to protect it...these words n expression will juz be washed away when problems come, when others come...so its your friendships n relationships based on words without meaning??? should we carry on living life with the continuation of erosion of words?? like "I love you", "i'm sorry"....are these words said without much thought??? or do we really mean them when we say it??

yup thats all i wanna say....plus im really excited bout thur bbq!!!! wahahahaz anyone jealous that i have a bbq??? then join me hahaz

Lord im hungry for a mighty move of God

Lord im thirsty pour out your Holy Ghost

lord i want to see the hand of God move mightily inside of me

im hungry for a move of God

---i was reminded of this song while lookin through my book....really love this song lots...=)

gd day every1

2007-08-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

hey im back for this month's post...hahaz
talkin on the phone while typing this with breakaway songs cd songs playing in my ear cuz my fren playin it thru the phone to let me hear lol....but truth to be told, i think i prefer the life one hhaaz...more feeling, more atmosphere...

well many things have been happening these past wks and the nxt few wks...
last wkend---deliverance...and one word "wow" hahaz it was a real powerful move of God and i feel a release within myself. i do know that God loves me, not juz knowledge base but really in my heart n im thankful for God =)
this wk----festival of praise...im lookin forward to Pst Phil, Delirious? and Don Moen!!!i believe it'll be super great as churches from around Singapore come n praise God together!! n i saw like other churches havin bs in mac n i felt really happy!!! =) its great to see people of God in your midst, seeing more n more coming to Christ, to want to know God =D

nxt few wks will have lots of things but think i need go le so sayonara...till nxt time

u shall be the head n not e tail

above n not be beneath

ur the salt of the earth n light in the world

u shall be that pillar where others look upon u

~~all your promises i hold dear~~

~~grant me strength LorD~~

2007-07-15T15:12:00.000+08:00

hey here at it again lol....this month got so many entries im surprised hahaz....
well juz bored out of doin my tutorials so here i am typing rubbish
goanna write an essay bout art for gp n im procrastinating hahaz
well cuz i dun really noe how to start, art is indeed not my strong topic for gp....
hm...art is an integral part of our life, without art, our everyday will seem so routine, without any spark, without any rest or pleasures...then wat??? hahaz i dunno wat to write bout art...i dunno how to continue ARGH!!!
ahhhh anyway...im outta here....

~~where your tresure is, there your heart will also be~~

where your heart is, there your focus and effort will be

so where is your treasure??

2007-07-15T01:14:00.001+08:00

Hahaz...im back once again...so maybe some of u out there wun complain that im a pest hahaz...kiddin lar...

well, i dunno how to say it but me results are real terrible in my whole entire life...heez...though ive not gotten all the subjects back yet, i dun really have a good feelin n from my chem n math results u can see that its really really bad hahaz....though i kinda expected it, but stilll........i do have alot if sad feelings bout it...so wat else can i do? wat more can i do?? but to really renew myself in Christ Jesus, to renew my strength n refresh myself to continue to battle on, to walk finish this trying and relentess journey of studying....discipline is indeed the key word....first u start out with the motivation, the hype n interest in smt new, then it wears off, u get tirerd n u have to rely on discipline to carry on,...n ultimately when i run finish this race, i wanna be able to thank God n to glorify Him with my results, so here i stand (not literally though cuz im sitting on a chair now..haha) in the face of 3 more months looking at this tall tall mountain, im saying to it "move!" n with God's grace n faith in Him, this overtowering mountain shall move n be cast into the sea!!!

hahaz...today started out with ds, with a reflection of wat season are we in...thats something worth thinking about....cuz for different seasons, u have to do different things, to prepare different things. like in the natural realm, when winter approaches, u have to get ready the thick warm sweaters n jackets, u have to switch on the heaters, keep urself warm. but, if say, summer arrives, u juz gotta tear all ur clothes n have a good swim in the cool shiok water...so likewise, wats ur season now?? n wat do u have to do?? wat do u have to prepare??? not the material things of clothes n food, but ur heart, ur thinking, ur soul, ur spirit....wat are u doin to allow u to have the power and ability to survive and emerge the victor in this season? there is indeed time for everything, but God is the Lord of all time n all ur life, so even if we're struggling rite now, in a dilemma rite now, in a lost state rite now, lets look to HIm for guidance n direction for God is in ALL ur seasons!!!

went for Dr Richard Roberts healing service n it was GREAT!! =) short n sweet. tears n joy. healed n saved.

then it was BBQ!! hahaz n celebratin of adeline's bday...but sad to say , we didnt throw her into the pool this time round, unlike the other time...a little bummer hahaz...but it was great seeing all my cousins again...ive realize im kinda isolated frm them hahaz...maybe its cuz lang barrier??.lol neh..its more of i never always spend time with them....so yup lets all strive for long lastin stable relationships ya!!!

who am i??

whos imperfect

who will fail

who displeases u

who ignores u

who put u aside

who give u second place

who is still called ur child

a child of God is who i am

n in Him i have my identity

in Him i can say my name

i am Christian

2007-07-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

ive juz realized something....
my com's speaker is giving me problems hahaz
but that was not the initial thing i realized...
i realized how powerful blogs are....be it blogspot, lifejournal or wateva (not the drink though)
it has the power to spread alot of things -good, bad, edification, criticism
it also has the power to reveal things that normally one will not see or notice

we dun noe another'sperson's schedule, but through blogs, u can see their emotion chain throughout the day, the things they do, the milestones in their life...it may be real, it may be not, it may be humbled, it may be exagerated....but ultimately it reflects the person....wat they write about, wat they think about...

not only that, blogs can also reveal alot of things to u, some u may find pleasing, some u find shocking, some disheartening, it depends on if ur the first or third person viewing it...i dun really noe how to put wat im thinkin into words but thats as far as i can get... dun belittle someone's or something's power, u never really noe how strong he/she/it is until they finally showhand...

yup...now for the more upbeat stuff...hahaz im veri super duper happy that i'm able to attend for all the SOTM up till now n i really hope i can attend it all the way till the finale in 2 sept!!! haha cant wait!!! i'm really blessed by the each and every message n its really like an x-ray machine...scanning through my whole life, how i behave, how i think, it showed me that wat i tot was acceptable and permissable may actually not be right in a christian's life...indeed, i've come to realize im imperfect in many many ways n perfect in not a single way...sad to say, say to confess, but through out my whole 17 years of life, knowing God since i can remember, i dun actually walk in the light of Jesus completely....there are times where i hide, i take a step back, i turned sideways...but ultimately, i still turn back to God. despite that, i still hope that i can really walk in the light of Jesus every day, everytime, every step, and not once will i falter...indeed let go and let God, let God increase and i decrease!!!

the wind blows

the storm rise

but God's love is unchangeable

it'll stay calm always

2007-07-03T19:56:00.000+08:00

HAhaz........well to stop some ppl from saying i've invited spiderman to man my blog, i better have another entry up. =P

everyone should noe that we've juz had a veri serious,trying,crazy ordeal of our bt2...hahaz it was really a once in a life time thing...n i hope it stays that way hahaz....y i say so???lol cuz for this exam i can say i never fully prepare myself....n facing reality, i think i wun do well...n through this period i realized something, smt that i should have long ago realize,...which is jc is really not a place where u can study last min n score well, not like o lvls...aft this bt2 i realize wat ppl always say is so true...so well i hav to bring up my socks n buck up.....DISCIPLINE is the key!!! hahaz...........

some random tots::::::

loneliness i may feel

going through the routine of life

thats wat i face when i wake up

ppl by my side

doing their own things

promises forgotten

meetings not met

ppl around me

all are occupied

with their own life

juz as i

its wierd how if its u, u can feel the pain

but when its someone else

u can comfort him like an old timer

its never easy to confront ur own problem

its harder to do something about it

but life is all about problems

n the courage u can draw out

God i can call upon

He will always be there

yesterday, today, tommorow

lets look inwardly

lets reflect

we know n we know He'll be there

but do we seek Him when troubles we face?

do we find Him to answer our problems?

usually its the last resort

usually its me myself n i

even when theres trouble afoot,

i still focus on myself

so lets reflect

lets do something

lets change and transform

to putting Him first

lets give God His due credit

credit we have no ability to pay in full

becuz of what He has done

n wat He is still doing

so lets live life as can be

lets not turn it to routine

lets face i with a smile

always knowing God u're there

2007-06-09T11:50:00.000+08:00

well....its been sometime and i think its fitting for me to write a post...hahaz at least a june one =)
its the hols...2 weeks hav gone by...BUT i haven really started studyin AT ALL!!! HELP!!!
week1: camp+EMERGE=no time+sick
week2: sick=sleep whole day+no energy n concentration=never study
week3:leaves to be seen....
so thats how 2 weeks of hols have gone by....but Emerge was really good!! a lil different frm last yr and think it will relight the fire that is in us =)
n im sick!!! T_T wats good about my immune system is that i hardly get sick during sch term BUT i always fall VERY sick during the hols...but this time round kinda bad timing cuz my bt2 coming round!!! OH man!!! through times like these....i can only continue to believe God is my Jehovah Rapha--my healer =) n indeed even with more responsibilities in my hands He'll multiply my effectiveness n indeed i'll continue to run this race with a spirit of excellence ya!!!

i'm believing for great and mighty things to happen!!! =)
Like the woman with the issue of blood, lets continue to press in!!!
Like the blind man who waited patiently, we will press in!!

!revival!